MENELAUS. Let's hear the other side. We can perhaps arbitrate. Peace at any price.
ANALYTIKOS. Some bargains are too cheap.
MENELAUS [hopelessly]. But I am a pacifist.
ANALYTIKOS. You are Menelaus of Sparta, and Sparta's a nation of soldiers.
MENELAUS [desperately]. I am too proud to fight!
ANALYTIKOS. Here, put on your shield. [A great clamor comes up from the courtyard. ANALYTIKOS steps out on the balcony and is greeted with shouts of "The King! The King!" Addressing the crowd.] People of Sparta, this calamity has been forced upon us.
[MENELAUS winces.] We are a peaceful people. But thanks to our unparalleled efficiency, the military system of Sparta is the most powerful in all Greece and we can mobilize in half an hour.
[Loud acclaims from the people. MENELAUS, the papyrus still in hand, crawls over and attempts to stop ANALYTIKOS.]
ANALYTIKOS [not noticing him]. In the midst of connubial and communal peace the thunderbolt has fallen on the King.[MENELAUS tugs at ANALYTIKOS' robe.] Broken in spirit as he is, he is already pawing the ground like a battle steed. Never will we lay down our arms! We and Jupiter! [Cheers.] Never until the Queen is restored to Menelaus. Never, even if it takes ten years.
[MENELAUS squirms. A loud cheer.]