Reflections of this sort gave confirmation to the worst of fears, and wrought in the minds of relatives and friends, and the community at large, an alternation of some slight hope, on the one hand, that they might after all be safe, and, on the other, the distressing fear that they had completed their last voyage on earth, or perhaps were lingering out a miserable existence amid the rigors of an arctic winter.
How little there was upon which to build a favorable hope! How weak and superficial the foundation which engrossing and prevailing apprehensions would not instantly sweep away and scatter to the winds! Indeed, whatever conclusions might have been drawn respecting the fate of the Citizen, her officers, and crew, how small encouragement there was in the whole field of imaginary probabilities in their favor, to relieve the minds of those at home from the constantly pressing weight of corroding anxiety and distressing solicitude respecting them!
Uncertainty and suspense with regard to an important event is one of the most trying states of mind in which an individual can be placed. How true this is when the life of some friend appears to be suspended upon the slightest possible contingency! Now indications seem auspicious and hopeful; then, again, adverse and threatening symptoms dissipate every cherished anticipation.
Instances have been recorded in which those who were shipwrecked and threatened with instant death on every side, while the prospect of deliverance was exceedingly small or absolutely cut off, have even desired the approaching crisis, however decisive it might be, whether of life or death, as far less distressing than the dreadful suspense which for hours, and even days, hung over them.
For years, until all hope has at length been abandoned, the civilized world, and especially the commercial part of it, was in a state of profound suspense respecting the fate of Sir John Franklin and his companions, entombed in the Arctic. How much sympathy there was felt and expressed for the distinguished lady of the explorer, who was unwilling to withhold any reasonable and even extraordinary efforts for his deliverance while the faintest color of encouragement existed in his favor! Wealth was poured out like water; and strong, self-denying, adventurous men started up and volunteered their services to traverse again the inhospitable regions of the north; peradventure they might find some traces of the explorers, whether living or dead. Through scores of months of hope and fear, distracting anxiety and painful apprehensions, she suffered for her husband a thousand times more than the certainty which his death would have caused.
It was precisely this state of mind which excited and agitated many families in Edgartown in relation to the uncertainty which surrounded the fate of the Citizen and those who sailed in her.
There was a remote, and yet very slender clinging to a bare possibility that they might be among the living; but at the same time, as if to extinguish every spark of hope, the imagination could hardly picture or conceive a condition in which they could live in the arctic regions. While "hoping against hope," and even beyond it, because hope is the only preservative against despair, yet it seemed as if forlornness stood ready to mock the fugitive idea that it could be well with them.
Thus more than twelve months rolled their rounds, and no ray of light was shed upon this dark event of Providence.
How many times the relatives met to talk over this common affliction and calamity! to mingle together their sympathies, for adversity binds kindred hearts! to send up united desires to God that deliverance in some way which they knew not, but which Infinite Wisdom only knew, might be wrought out for the husband, and sons, and brothers, if still in being!
If meetings and partings, however, brought no outward, substantial relief, nor removed in the least degree the same appalling uncertainty which enshrouded the future, this great truth they learned in many sleepless nights, and tedious days, weeks, and months—that they should "trust in God," and stay themselves upon his mighty hand.