"Young man," I said severely, "I knew that pipe, and it is a good thing it is gone. That steak you have disposed of was good, and these herring-roes I have ordered for you while you were blathering are excellent. Eat them, and then get to business at once."
The junior subaltern ate the roes, which were perfect; and when the coffee and the brandy were brought, he looked at me to see if I was really in earnest, and began again, "Do you remember James Pilch, who was the company's cook?"
"No, my boy," I said, "I do not remember James Pilch, nor do I want to. Waiter, my bill."
The bill was brought. Oysters, 3s.; lobster, 8s.; soup, 2s.; grill, 3s.; vegetables, 6d.; wine, 7s.; bread and butter, 4d.; coffee, 1s.; liqueurs, 5s.; roes, 2s.; total, £1: 11: 10.
This paid I turned to the subaltern. "Young man," I said, "I am now going to personally conduct you to the club smoking-room, and if I have to sit up with you all night with a stick I intend to be told how you came to be recommended for the V.C."
The junior subaltern groaned.
22nd November.