“I cannot understand anyone being afraid to die,” she said, quietly. “I have always looked upon Death as such a friend, such a rest. You mustn’t be afraid to die, Lili.”
I passed an anxious and exciting morning. I was besieged with visitors for Anna, and people who desired to see the Empress. I think my position gave rise to a great deal of jealousy in the Palace, as at this time the Empress made me the sole medium of her wishes and no official etiquette was observed.
Nothing was heard of Rasputin, but all kinds of disturbing rumours were current. A certain person paid twenty-two visits to Tsarkoe Selo in one day, hopeful to see the Empress, but, acting on the advice of Protopopoff, she absolutely declined to receive him.
Two days later, Rasputin’s body was discovered under the ice in the Neva. It was taken to a hospital close by, where an autopsy was performed. Rasputin had been wounded in the face and side, and there was a bullet wound in his back. His expression was peaceful, and the stiff fingers of one hand were raised in a gesture of benediction; it was impossible to arrange the hand in a natural position! The autopsy proved without a doubt that Rasputin was alive when he was thrown into the Neva!
The news of the murder caused the greatest consternation at the Palace—Anna Virouboff was prostrated with grief, and the Imperial Family were deeply concerned. The reports that the Empress gave way to violent hysterics are incorrect. It would be untrue to say that she was not inexpressibly shocked and grieved, but she displayed no untoward emotion. The Emperor was troubled, but his feelings arose more from the significance of Rasputin’s death than from the actual death of the man: he realised that this murder was the first definite blow against the hitherto absolute power of the Tsar!
Akilina Laptinsky came to the Palace immediately after the autopsy had been performed: she wished, so she said, to discuss the question of Rasputin’s burial. She was received by the Empress; Anna and I were also present. The “Sister” first asked the Empress if she did not wish to see the corpse.
“Certainly not,” replied the Empress—in a tone which admitted of no argument.
“But there is the question of the burial,” said Akilina. “Gregory always wished to be buried at Tsarkoe Selo.”
“Impossible ... impossible ...” cried the Empress. “The body had better be taken to Siberia and buried in the ‘Father’s’ village.”
Akilina wept.... She declared that Rasputin’s spirit would never rest were he to be buried so far away from the Palace. The Empress hesitated.... I could see she was thinking that it would be equally as unfriendly to discard the dead as to discard the living. Anna, however, settled the question by proposing that Rasputin should be interred in the centre aisle of the new church adjoining her hospital for convalescents. The church and the hospital were being built on Anna’s own property.... There could be no question of any scandal touching the Imperial Family.... This proceeding would only enable people to cast another stone at Anna’s already shattered reputation.