Book of Etiquette, Volume I

by Lillian Eichler Watson

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CHAPTER V

INVITATIONS

SOME GENERAL RULES

No matter how informal, an invitation should always be acknowledged within a week of its receipt. It should be a definite acknowledgment—either an acceptance or refusal—and no doubt should be left as to whether the writer intends to be present or not. An invitation must always be answered in kind; that is, a formal invitation requires a formal reply, following closely the wording of the invitation. The informal invitation should be cordial enough to warrant a cordial and friendly reply; both invitation and acknowledgment should be free of all stilted phrasing.

Formal invitations for evening affairs should be addressed to husband and wife, omitting neither one nor the other. (The exception to this rule is the "stag" or its feminine equivalent.) If there is only one daughter in the family, she may be included in the invitation, but when there are two or more daughters to be invited, a separate invitation addressed to The Misses Brown is essential. Invitations sent to the masculine members of a family, other than the husband, are sent individually.

Invitations sent to a husband and wife are acknowledged in the names of both. If a daughter is included, her name is also added to the acknowledgment. The wife usually answers the invitation, and although it was sent in the name of Mr. and Mrs. Blank, she sends her acknowledgment to Mrs. Blank alone.

An invitation may never be acknowledged on any kind of a visiting card, although a visiting card may be used in an invitation. For very large, formal functions, invitations are always engraved. A young girl does not issue invitations to men in her own name, but in that of her mother or guardian. She should say in her invitations that her mother, Mrs. Blank, desires her to extend the invitation to Mr. Brown, etc.

In replying to invitations, explicit details must be given. The day of week, date and hour should be quoted, copying from the invitation, so that any discrepancy made in the invitation will be noted and corrected by the hostess when she receives the acknowledgment. This does away with any possibility of such embarrassing blunders as calling on the wrong day or at the wrong hour.

Only the most informal invitation should be given by telephone, by word of mouth or orally by a messenger, but every invitation should be either declined courteously or accepted with enthusiasm promptly.