Book of Etiquette, Volume I

by Lillian Eichler Watson

Some people may feel that a discourse on friendly letters has no place in a book on social intercourse. But we feel that social success is just as largely dependent upon one's simple friendships as it is upon highly extravagant social activities, and therefore it is necessary to know something about the friendly letter.

The salutation in a friendly letter should always be "Dear Mary" or "Dear Miss Jones." The text of the letter should be written with ease, and instead of a long list of questions (as some letter-writers delight in using), bits of choice news of the day, interesting personal experiences, and the like should be disclosed. As Elizabeth Myers in her book "The Social Letter," says: "The friendly letter is our proxy for a little tête-à-tête, telling of the personal news of the day, and should be as extemporaneous as daily speech. Such letters are given free scope and it would be as bootless to dictate rules as it would be to commit a monologue to memory prior to a friendly visit."

Unless you are very intimate with a friend, and your letter contains "identifying" news, do not sign yourself merely with your Christian name. There are many Marys, and Johns and Harolds; and a letter signed with the full name is as cordial as one which gives only the baptismal name.

There is an old Latin proverb, "Litera scripta manet," meaning "The written letter remains." A very pretty sentiment is attached to this one short sentence. It means not only that the letter itself remains, but that the thoughts contained in that letter, the kind, unselfish, pretty thoughts of friendship, remain forever in heart and mind of the person for whom it was intended. When you write to your friends, make your letters so beautiful in form and text, that they will be read, re-read, and cherished a long time after as a fond memory. It will be a big step on the road to social perfection. Another point to be kept in mind is that nothing should be written in a letter that one would not be willing for almost anyone to see. Letters sometimes travel far, and one can never be altogether sure into what hands they may fall.

THE CHILD'S LETTER

The sooner the child is taught to take care of his or her own personal correspondence, the sooner he or she will become perfect in the art of letter-writing. The little ones should be taught early the significance of the correct letter, the importance of correct social correspondence. Their duties at first may be light, and guided entirely by mother's suggestions; but the youngsters will soon find keen pleasure and enjoyment in creating letters themselves.

Here are a few letters that might have been written by children between the ages of seven and twelve. They are not offered as model letters, for children have a great deal more personality than grown-ups, and they must get that personality into what they write; otherwise the letter will be strained and unnatural. Do not be too critical of their first efforts. Pass over mistakes, and let the letter sound as if the child and not you had written it. At the same time teach them to be careful. With a very small bit of diplomacy the child can be brought to take great pride in a letter which he wrote "with his own hand." And don't make the children say things that they do not want to. Protect them from the petty insincerities of social life as long as possible.

Dear Aunt May:

Thank you ever so much for the pretty doll. I have named her May. Mother thinks she is very pretty but Tom does not. Tom does not like dolls. He plays with the dog and his tops and marbles nearly all the time. The dog's name is Mike. He is black. I like him lots. We are going to have strawberry ice cream Sunday. I wish you could be here. I would give you a big plate full.

Please come to see me soon.