Book of Etiquette, Volume I

by Lillian Eichler Watson

ARRIVING AT THE CHURCH

The wedding party should arrive promptly at the church a few minutes before the time mentioned for the ceremony. Few moments are more tensely anxious than those in which a belated member of the wedding party is awaited by the others. For this reason, it is always better to assemble at the home of the bride rather than in the vestibule of the church or elsewhere. Except the groom and best man, who await the others in the vestry and the ushers who have gone on ahead an hour or so earlier.

The bride's mother, the maid of honor and guests leave the home of the bride first. They are followed by the bridesmaids. The last to leave are the bride and her father.

The bride's mother is escorted to her place (the aisle seat of the front pew on the left side) by the head usher. Those of her children who have no part in the procession accompany her. The family of the bridegroom are similarly conducted to their reserved place, the front pew on the right side. As soon as the bridesmaids and the bridal party arrive at the door of the church, the bridegroom is informed, and the entire cortége assembles in the vestibule. The organist has previously been informed as to what musical selections are to be played, and as soon as he gets his cue, he strikes a chord—and while the mellow notes of the organ peal forth (usually the beautiful tones of the wedding-march from "Lohengrin") the doors at the foot of the aisle slowly swing open.

WEDDING MUSIC

The bride usually enters on Lohengrin and goes out on Mendelssohn. Throughout the ceremony, except when prayers are being said, there should be soft music and the organ should continue to play until all the guests have left the church, unless chimes are rung. In the event that there are chimes they should begin to ring as soon as the bridal party has left the church. The music for a church service may be very stately and impressive. Besides the organ stringed instruments may be employed and soloists or a choir may be asked to sing. Music is especially pleasing during the time when the guests are waiting for the wedding party to assemble.

The musical program in the home is not very different. A piano and one or two stringed instruments furnish the instrumental music while friends of the bride and groom may be requested to sing. These should be rewarded by a gift from the groom. There is a wider choice in the kind of music which may be used at the home wedding, for the beautiful secular love songs which are out of place at the church are most appropriate here.

THE WEDDING PROCESSION

The order of the wedding procession depends largely upon the number of attendants. The following arrangement is frequently observed: The ushers enter first, walking slowly down the aisle two by two. The bridesmaids follow in the same manner, the maid of honor, who is unattended, comes next, followed by the bride, who leans on the arm of her father. Flower girls may precede the procession or they may walk just in front of the bride and a page or pages may be added to the group to bear the train of the bride's gown. The bride is always the last to enter and she comes alone or with whoever is to give her away at the altar.

As they reach the altar the ushers separate, one half moving to the right, the other to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, and the maid of honor steps to the left of the bride while she and her father advance toward the space left at the foot of the altar for them. At this point the groom and best man come forward and the bride slips her hand from her father's arm and places it in the hand of the groom, who leads her to the clergyman. Her father stands at her right.