Many times it is the fault of the people who are being introduced that they do not understand the names. They do not listen for them. It is one of the secrets of social success, if there can be anything secret about a thing so obvious, to be able to remember names correctly. People in business realize this and salesmen devote special time to training themselves to remember the names of their customers.
A very bad fault is to attempt to guess at a name when it is not heard distinctly. It is perfectly correct to ask: "Did Mrs. Roberts call you Miss Gray?" But never address the young lady as Miss Gray if you have the least doubt as to whether or not that was the name given. Her name may be Graham, or Grayerson! It is much wiser to ask and be correct, than to guess and be corrected.
THE CORRECT INTRODUCTION
Let us now consider the correct forms for the general introduction. For all ordinary occasions the simple form, "Mrs. Johns, let me present Mr. Brown," is the best. Because it is brief, direct and simple it may be used effectively on almost any occasion. In introducing men to women, the woman's name is invariably spoken first, and the gentleman is presented to her. Several phrases that are quite generally used in social circles are: "Mrs. A, allow me to introduce Mr. B," or "Mrs. A, Mr. B wishes to be presented to you," or "Mrs. A, may I present Mr. B?" Such phrases as "Let me make you acquainted with" and "I want you to shake hands with" are awkward and altogether too casual. They should never be used.
When there is a great difference in the ages of two women, the younger is presented to the elder. Thus, if Mrs. Brown is an elderly matron, and Mrs. Smith is a recent bride, one would say: "Mrs. Brown, let me present Mrs. Smith." An unmarried woman is always presented to a matron in this manner: "Mrs. Brown, may I present Miss Jones?" or "Mrs. Brown, this is Miss Jones." When it is hard to decide which of two married women is older, one may give due reference to both by introducing in this most satisfactory manner: "Mrs. Brown, let me present Mrs. Smith; Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Brown."
Similar distinctions are made in the introducing of two gentlemen. Where there is no difference in age, title or dignity, the introduction may be merely: "Mr. White, Mr. Jones." A young man is presented to an older man, a bachelor to a married man. However, if the bachelor is a venerable old gentleman, a married man is presented to him, in deference to his age. Citizens without official distinction are invariably presented to senators, judges, governors, etc.
When introducing a friend to one's parents it is correct to say, "Mother, may I present Miss Smith?" or "Mother, this is Mr. Jones." The friend is always introduced to the mother first, then to the father. Other relatives are introduced in the order of their age and position in the family.
In presenting a relative whose name is the same as your own it is unnecessary to repeat the name. For instance, "Miss Daniels, do you know my sister, Mildred?" or "Miss Daniels, may I present my brother, Harry?" If the name is different particular pains should be taken to pronounce it. "Miss Daniels, this is my sister, Mrs. Graham." Or, "Miss Daniels, may I present my brother, Mr. Franklin?"
GROUP INTRODUCTIONS
It is considered bad form to interrupt a conversation to introduce a newcomer. Always wait until the conversation has subsided before you venture to present a stranger to a group of people.