There can be nothing quite as shallow as refusing to answer, or answering coldly, the person who addresses you in a spirit of friendliness, merely because there have been no formal introductions. One must have vision enough to see that what is correct in the ballroom would be strained and narrow in the shadow of the huge mountains where men and women of every social standing gather to enjoy the same glorious bigness of things.
INTRODUCING CHILDREN
It is important for children to be taught early the significance and value of formal introductions. But parents must carefully avoid all suggestion of snobbishness in their young sons and daughters. There is an amusing story related of a certain little English lad who was visiting in America with his father, who happened to be a member of the House of Lords. The youngster had a well developed case of snobbishness.
At an afternoon reception given in honor of his father, the boy was introduced to several young Americans, invited especially for his benefit. During the course of the afternoon, the hostess noticed that he was sitting off to one side, avoiding the other young guests. When she spoke to him about it, and asked him why he didn't join the other young people, he remarked stiffly: "In England, the son of a member of the House of Lords does not associate with commoners!" While the father crimsoned, the little American guests laughed in amusement. And a newspaper correspondent who was present enjoyed the humor of the situation so keenly that he devoted a whole column to it.
A well-bred child introduces his or her small friend to older persons by saying, "Mrs. Thompson, this is my sister Ray," or, "Mother, may I present my schoolmate, Bob, to you?" Children should be taught not to use stilted, unnatural phrases. Their introductions should be easy and natural. A child introducing his young cousin to a friend would say, "Bob, this is my cousin, Ralph." When introduced to an adult, the properly trained child waits for the elder to speak first. If some expression of pleasure at the meeting is made, the child may say, "Thank you, Mrs. Anderson."
A parent would introduce her daughter in this manner: "Mrs. Brown, this is my little daughter Anne," or, "Mrs. Brown, my boy John wishes to be presented to you." Children should be introduced to each other in a casual way for strained introductions cause them to feel ill at ease in one another's company. "Harry, this is John Brown. I am sure you will enjoy hearing all about his new pony," or, "Mary, Bob wants to tell you about something funny that happened at school the other day." The simple expression, "How do you do," is always best for children who are acknowledging introductions.
CORDIALITY IN INTRODUCTIONS
With the passing of the ridiculous half-finger handshake, with the arm extended upward and the wrist bent awkwardly, introductions have become more cordial and sincere. Which is entirely as it should be. Too many people go through the ceremony of an introduction merely as a matter of duty, without realizing its portent in the matter of friendship and future acquaintance.
We have all met the man or woman who nods stiffly in acknowledgment of an introduction, and offers some stereotyped expression of welcome. And we have all met the man or woman who smiles warmly, offers a sincere handclasp, and acknowledges the introduction so cordially that one feels entirely at ease. In the latter case, a brief acquaintance usually ripens into friendship, while in the former instance, one is inclined to forget promptly the one to whom the introduction has been made.
The next time you are introduced to a stranger, smile sincerely, make your handclasp warm and firm, put cordiality into your welcome and see how your new acquaintance responds! The correct introduction alone is not the corner-stone of friendship; but the correct introduction that is also cordial opens the door to friendships that perhaps are sealed to every other effort.