Book of Etiquette, Volume I

by Lillian Eichler Watson

MAKING A CHANCE CALL

Very often a call is returned on some other day than that set apart by the hostess for the day at home. It is not always convenient for friends and acquaintances to observe a certain day at home, but when they call on other days they always are faced with uncertainty. Of course there are some women who do not have a definite day at home, but they may be found at home almost any afternoon.

A woman calling on a friend or acquaintance on no definite day makes some such inquiry as follows of the servant at the door: "Is Mrs. Gray at home?" or, "Are the ladies in this afternoon?" Having received a reply in the negative, the caller leaves her card and departs. There must be no questions as to where the ladies may be, or what time they shall return, unless one is a particularly intimate friend of the entire family.

When the servant announces at the door that her mistress is not at home, it may mean either that she is out of the house entirely or that she is so completely occupied with business that she is not able to entertain. In either case, however, the report of the servant must be taken as final, and it may not be questioned.

INFORMAL CALLS

We will call it that—these friendly little visits that neighbors make upon each other in smaller towns, or in less fashionable circles. Informal calls. But you may call them friendly calls, if you wish.

In small towns, and especially in the country, women may "drop in" for a chat with their neighbors any time in the afternoon. Even morning calls between ten and one o'clock are permissible. There is nothing formal about these calls. It is not necessary to have a liveried butler at the door to announce the name, nor a small silver tray on which to place the caller's card. Butlers, cards and formalities are all omitted, and the call drops into a delightfully intimate visit.

It would be ridiculous to attempt to set down a definite time limit for these calls. They may be as short as twenty minutes or as long as two hours, depending entirely upon the individuals and the circumstances. Refreshments may or may not be served as one pleases. Formal greetings and farewells are dispensed with, and in their place are cordial "hellos" and "good-bys" that are entirely conducive to good friendship.

If you feel that, because you are not fortunate enough to own a pretentious dwelling and to hire impressive butlers and maid-servants to welcome your guests, you should not make calls and have them returned, you are depriving yourself of a pleasure infinitely greater than all elaborate display and ostentation. Simple, informal calls made for the purpose of creating and developing friendships, and made with a feeling of genuine cordiality and friendliness, are even more gratifying than the stiffly formal social calls.

Do not feel that you are obeying etiquette's decrees when you neglect your friendships merely because your home and facilities do not warrant extensive social intercourse. True etiquette is universal in its appeal and reaches the country-woman in her little cottage as directly as it reaches the stately dowager in her city mansion.