Unless one is truly sorrowing over the death of some dear one, mourning cards should not be used. When they are used, the borders should be very narrow—never more than one-fourth of an inch. They should not be carried by people who are not in strict mourning garments.
During the first year of widowhood, the mourning card should have a black border one-fourth of an inch deep. The second year the border may be diminished one-sixteenth of an inch; and every six months after that, the same amount may be detracted from the border, until mourning is put off entirely. A widower's card has a border narrower than the widow's in proportion to the size of their respective cards. It, too, is gradually decreased in width until the end of the mourning period.
This graduation, or rather gradual narrowing, of the border is not used in the mourning of a sister's, brother's or parent's death. For these relatives, a border not less than a sixteenth or more than an eighth of an inch in width should be used. Mourning cards should not be assumed for an uncle, aunt or cousin, unless genuine sorrow and heartfelt sympathy are felt. A border that is a sixteenth of an inch in width is sufficient for the complete period of mourning for these latter relatives.
The mourning cards of parents and widows should bear the broadest black borders, but even they must not exceed the conventional width, which is not more than one-fourth of an inch. Very wide, glaring borders denote bad taste on the part of the owner. (See footnote) [ [1] ]
WHEN THE WOMAN GOES A-CALLING
A visiting card is always left on the hall table or on the card tray, if it is not given to the servant. The caller must on no occasion carry it in and present it to her hostess like a billet d'admission. A woman never presents it herself to her hostess.
When the call is made on the hostess' day at home, cards are left on the tray in the hall as each caller passes through to the drawing- or reception-room. If it is the first call of the season, to that particular friend or acquaintance, she places one of her own cards and one of her husband's in the tray. Subsequent calls of the season do not require one of her own cards left each time in the tray; but if the call is made in return for some hospitality or entertainment accorded her and her husband, she leaves two of the latter's cards—provided, only, that the hostess is a married woman.
Until about 1893, women, when paying calls and finding that the hostess was not at home, turned down the left corner of the card towards the center, to indicate that all the women members of the family were included in the call. If the right corner was also turned down, it meant that the visitor came to make a formal call, not for the simple purpose of card-leaving. This custom has been entirely eliminated in America, at any rate, though it still prevails in certain foreign countries. And rightly so, for it is both affected and untidy.
WHEN MORE THAN ONE CARD IS LEFT
A wife beginning her rounds of first calls, leaves two of her husband's cards with one of her own. She repeats this when she comes to congratulate or condole, and when she pays her final calls of the season. It is wise for a wife always to carry a number of her husband's cards in her card case, as she is often called upon to use them for such social occasions that the busy business man is loath to attend.