A gentleman calling upon a lady who is stopping at a hotel, gives his name to the desk clerk. It is not necessary to offer a card. The form in most common usage is, "Mr. Roberts to see Miss Nelson." The clerk will call Miss Nelson on the telephone or will direct him to one of the telephones in the lobby, and advise her of the visitor. If she is ill and does not wish to see him, she will say, "Please tell Mr. Roberts I am indisposed and I am sorry that I cannot see him to-day." But she should not refuse to see a visitor without offering some sort of legitimate excuse. If she is not ready to greet visitors, she may say to the clerk, "Tell Mr. Roberts I shall be downstairs in a half-hour." That is the maximum amount of time it is permissible to keep a visitor waiting.
Ladies receive the gentlemen who call on them in the parlor or reception room of the hotel. They may be hatless and gloveless, if they wish, observing the same rules of etiquette that they would observe in their drawing-room at home. But if the visits are entirely of a business nature, it is always advisable for the woman to wear a hat.
To welcome a man in one's room is to break a convention that has many years of strict practice to uphold it. It is a serious blunder in hotel etiquette.
If a gentleman calls upon a lady at a hotel, whether it be in a business or social capacity, and finds that she is not in, he may leave his card with the desk clerk to be forwarded to her. It is necessary, however, that he write on the back of the card for whom it is intended; for the memories of desk clerks are not quite as retentive as some of us think they are, and there is a possibility of the card being sent to the wrong guest.
MAKING FRIENDS AT THE HOTEL
Hotels have the alarming propensity of making one feel extremely lonely, especially if one is stopping there all by oneself. And there is the very strong temptation to forget all about conventionalities and speak to the friendly-looking old gentleman at the next table, or the charming young woman in the dressing-room. But everyone, and the woman especially, should be extremely careful in making friends and acquaintances at the hotel.
Self-introductions are not unusual at the hotel. In the dining-room, in the lobby, in the rest-rooms, conversations are often started that result in self-introductions and subsequent acquaintanceships. But one should be prudent. It is not wise to go beyond the usual civilities of greetings and casual conversations or to take anyone into your confidence.
While conducting yourself with all due courtesy and consideration for the hospitality extended by the hotel, it is important to remember that after all the hotel is not a private home, but a temporary one for travelers—for the public. The conventions you observe in public must therefore also be observed at the hotel. Strangers still remain strangers, even though you sleep under the same roof with them.
If a gentleman becomes interested in another gentleman, either in the hotel lobby or the dining-room, and he wishes to become acquainted with him either for business or social reasons, he may request the manager of the hotel to make the necessary introduction. He may also indulge in the self-introduction, but it is never as effective as the introduction made by a third person.