The funniest case I ever witnessed was that of an old washwoman. I don't know where she hailed from, but the judge said:
"Why do you wish to get a divorce from your husband?"
"Well, yer honor, he don't support me."
"But," said the judge, "is that all the complaint you have? You must have more than that to get a divorce."
"Well, yer honor, I don't love my husband any more."
"That won't do either," said the judge impatiently. "Is that all?"
"Well, to tell the truth, yer honor, I don't think he is the father of my last child."
"Judgment for the defendant." ….
What matter law and customs to even the most staid and stone-hearted Wall Street banker if he happens to be on top of the world with a woman who is a masterpiece of creation? There are many in Reno,— masterpieces: not millionaire bankers—, and lonely too, sometimes! Anyway it came to pass not so very long ago, that a New York banker of great wealth and international reputation went out to Reno to secure a divorce. After two months' stay the gentleman lost his heart to a very attractive lady, who also was whiling away six months of her sweet young life in order to shake off the matrimonial shackles. The banker was about fifty, the lady twenty-seven and the wife of a well-known New York actor. So lavish were the banker's attentions to this charming lady that he gave a most extraordinary banquet in her honor at the Riverside Hotel to which were invited about one hundred guests. The dinner was under the management of one of the best of San Francisco's caterers, and all the table decorations were brought from San Francisco. The banquet, I am told, cost about $5,000—Hoover in those days was not popular as yet…. But alas! poor little Cupid was obliged to succumb to failure. Before the six months had passed, the banker's wife "got wise" to his whereabouts and his doings, and he disappeared from Reno very abruptly. About the same time the beautiful lady's actor husband learned of the affair, and sued the banker for fifty thousand dollars "heart balm" …. And so we find a fool face to face with his folly….
"Altitude," did you say? I don't know …. Funny how a few fleeting hours can change the face of the world! How the mind when free and refreshed can see and admit mistakes, and how our fairy castles and wondrous dreams vanish at the touch of reason and stern reality. It's wonderful to have known paradise: to have walked in its flower-strewn paths and to have tasted its delirious delights. But the awakening! "How could I?"—"How could She?"—"What was the end of it all?" "Who knows?"