Autumn had run up her banner of red and gold, and under the spreading folds I had walked every day to Rockdale, and as steadily as the week came round rode home with Frank Clavers on Friday, until Hunter came to know me quite as well as his master. Still, after the first ride, I had never felt the same degree of satisfaction. To ride well no longer seemed to me such a desirable acquisition. To master my Latin as readily was now my ambition, and to this I bent all my energies.
As the winter deepened, the walk to Rockdale proved as bleak as before it had been delightful, and the north winds, sweeping down through the mountain gorges, made my cheeks and ears tingle. Still I could not afford to lose a day. Frank was to stay three years, and then four more in college; but Frank Clavers’ father was rich, and I was dependent upon my own toil.
As I looked forward, for the first time one night I yielded to despondency; my book closed, and my head fell forward on the casement. Far above, the bright stars were shining. It was His hand that sustained them. He prescribed their courses, and kept them within their limits; and although I did not understand how, I still felt that his watch and care was over me; and with this feeling came strength.
Looking back, as we did in going up the mountain, I could feel that I had accomplished much; and still it was so little of what I craved. I needed to be again reminded that it was by one step at a time that the summit was reached; and that, had I stood at the foot of the mountain and attempted to leap up by a few great efforts, it would never have been done.
My class-mates were boys accustomed to school life, and still I knew that some of them hardly looked in their books till they came to recite. At first I thought Mr. Harlan was to blame; they came to study, and they ought to be made to do so. Still, I have since found it is not an easy matter to compel pupils to do what they do not wish to do, what they will not do cheerfully. Doubtless he did all that he could to incite them to study; and this failing, he allowed them to drift on, hoping perhaps they would in time wake up to the responsibility of wisely improving their time and opportunities.
Another advantage I had gained at Mr. Jeffries’ was to be seen in my declamation. To stimulate my memory, I had learned nearly the whole of my English Reader by heart, and these lessons I had been in the habit of repeating to the servants in the kitchen, and sometimes, if I had a moment’s leisure, to myself in the stable. It was in the latter place that Mr. Jeffries had surprised me, the mention of which he often made, sure of a laugh at my expense, and over which I grew extremely sensitive. As declamation was a regular weekly exercise in school, I soon found that the habit had been of great use to me; not only could I readily commit to memory, but there was no feeling of timidity, and I could speak before others without a thought of myself, leaving me free to profit by the suggestions of my teacher.
Prominent in the memory of those days is my long daily walk, with its frequent concomitants of deep snows, leaden skies, and bitter winds. One day when the cold was at its height, Miss Grimshaw went to the door with me, and urged me not to think of going to Rockdale. I had just begun to translate, and one of my sentences troubled me till rest seemed impossible; I must go. Neither could I look for a ride, as grandma suggested. Action was necessary; and buttoning my coat closely, I told her I could easily go, the sun would soon make an impression. “It is not half as severe as some days last week.”
Accordingly I started; but before I left the village I was obliged to stop repeating my lesson aloud; my teeth chattered and my ears were tingling. I tried to run, but the stiff frozen snow would not allow of this extra effort. A half mile from town I met Dr. Graham.
“It is too cold to go to Rockdale to-day, Marston;” and he opened his buffalo robes and offered me a seat.
“Thank you, Dr. Graham,” I answered as well as my chattering teeth would allow, “it wont be any worse; I can get there.” Again he tried to turn me; but no, I must recite my lesson, and I needed explanations; I felt that I could not wait another day.