“I know it, Howe, as well as you do. I don’t study. I feel ashamed of it, and still I cannot do better. I mean to in the spring. I’ll turn over a new leaf, as Gilmore says.”
“Why not begin now?” I ventured to ask.
“Because I can’t; I’ve got out of the way of study, and to go back is not so readily done. I would not have father know how I spend my time; and my sister is always writing me to make good use of my opportunities. Poor mother, I am all the boy she has got, and I know how anxious she is about me. I don’t mean to be wild, but I’m afraid that I am.”
The last words, mournfully spoken, touched my heart. Besides, the idea of his trifling with a mother’s love moved me to speak.
“Why not try now to do what you feel to be right? You might easily be the first in your class.”
“I meant to be when I came here; but when I saw how some of the others managed, by degrees I fell into the same ways.”
“It is not too late to commence. Mr. Harlan told us that when we become conscious of an error, we should turn from it immediately. It is easy for us to do wrong; and to turn as soon as we become conscious of it, is the only true wisdom.”
“I don’t believe I can here; the boys all know me, and they will expect me to do just as I have done.”
A little tap at the door. Charles Eaton entered, and conversation took a more general tone.
A few evenings after this, in passing out of the supper-room, Mrs. Harlan handed me several papers, magazines, etc. Looking them over, I found a notice of the death of Charles Brisbane, my first teacher. My eyes grew dim as I gazed upon the record, which spoke of early promise, rare graces of mind, and the deep religious element underlying a character devoted to the elevation of the human race. I cannot describe the effect produced by the perusal of that short obituary. Mr. Brisbane’s words had roused me to action, and taught me my duty to myself and to my Maker; but his death gave to his well-remembered utterances all the force and power of a voice from heaven. Thenceforth I cherished his image still more, as one of my choicest treasures; and the desire of my heart was deepened to acquire knowledge and discipline, and to be, like him, a good and useful man.