At length, within a maniac’s cell,
I moaned and muttered day by day,
Till, like a loathsome thing, I fell
From human consciousness away.
That nightmare dream of life was brief,
For horror choked my struggling breath,
And my poor heart, with love and grief,
Was famished even unto death.
Unconscious of my spirit’s change,
Long did I linger near the earth,
Until a being, kind, though strange,
Recalled me to my conscious worth.
From thence I seemed to be transformed,
Renewed as by redeeming grace,
And then my soul the purpose formed—
To seek “the Saviour of the race.”
My aspirations served to bear
My earnest spirit swift away,
Until a heaven, serene and fair,
My onward progress seemed to stay.
I came where two immortals trod,
In friendly converse, side by side;
“O, lead me to the Son of God,
That I may worship him!” I cried.
One turned—and from his aspect mild
A benison of love was shed—
“O, say, whom do you seek, dear child?
We all are sons of God,” he said.
“Nay, nay!” I cried, “not such I mean!
But him who died on Calvary—
The humble-hearted Nazarene!”
He meekly answered, “I am he!”
“O, then, as sinful Mary knelt,
In tearful sorrow, at thy feet,
So does my icy nature melt,
And her sweet reverence I repeat.
O God! O Christ! O Living All!
‘Thou art the Life, the Truth, the Way’;
Lo! at thy feet I humbly fall—
Cast not my sinful soul away!”
“Poor bleeding heart! poor wounded dove!”
In tones of gentleness, he said:
“How hast thou famished for that love
Which is indeed ‘the living bread.’
Kneel not to me; the Power Divine,
Than I, is greater, mightier far;
His glories lesser lights outshine,
As noonday hides the brightest star.”
“You died for all the world!” I cried,
“And therefore do I bend the knee.”
“My friend,”[3] he answered, “at my side,
Long ere I suffered, died for me.
He drained for man the poisoned cup,
I gave my body to the cross,
But when the sum is counted up,
Great is our gain, and small our loss.
“Not thus would I be deified,
Or claim the homage that men pay;
But he who takes me for his guide,
Makes me his Life, his Truth, his Way.
O, heaven shall not descend to man,
Nor man ascend to heaven above,
Till he shall see Salvation’s plan
Is written in the law of love.
“Dear sister! let your fears depart—
I have no power to bid you live,
But I can feed your famished heart
Upon the love I freely give.
Mine are the hearts that men condemn,
Or crush in their ambitious strife,
And through my love I am to them
‘The Resurrection and the Life.’”
He raised me gently from his feet,
And laid my head upon his breast.
O God! how calm, how pure and sweet,
How more than peaceful was that rest!
I feel that blesséd presence yet—
It fills me with a joy serene—
Nor have I hungered since I met
The gentle-hearted Nazarene.