There are so many varieties of drunkenness, that it is difficult to define the state the old-fashioned coachman was too often reduced to. We hear of a man being "as drunk as a lord;" of being "on;" of being "muzzy;" of being "cut;" of being "two sheets in the wind;" of having "a drop too much;" of being "incapable." Perhaps of the above epithets "muzzy" would be the most appropriate, as owing to the numerous stoppages at wayside public-houses, the coachman had a tankard to his lips every half-hour.
The fast coachmen were well-conditioned, in many instances well-educated men, who could sing a song, and tell a good story to while away the time. They formed a great contrast to the old-fashioned coachmen of heavy coaches, who were too often drunkards, as I have remarked, and who were conspicuous for their inhumanity in the use of the double thong and a sort of cat-o'-nine tails called "the apprentice," with which they unmercifully lashed their wheelers.
It was rather amusing, though mischievously so, to witness the consternation of the inside passengers when some amateur on the box "handled the ribbons." Except with a very fast team, the coachman would turn to his companion and say,
"If you have your driving-gloves on, and would like to take the reins over the next ten miles, you are welcome to do so."
Of course the reply was in the affirmative. If a tyro accepted the offer, it was very easy to discover the difference between the professional and the unprofessional, which the horses themselves seemed to feel. They became sluggish; not all the "gee upping" and "go alonging," and the harmless use of the whip, the lash of which usually got entangled in the lamp or harness, could keep them up to their work.
This was so apparent that some inside passenger would put his head out of the window and inquire the cause of the creeping pace they were proceeding at.
"A heavy piece of road, Sir," responded the coachman, who thought more of the guinea or half-guinea he expected to receive than of the loss of time.
"Why, I declare," said the inquiring gentleman, resuming his seat, "there's a young fellow driving, and I rather think it must be his first attempt!"
"Oh, let me out!" exclaims an elderly spinster; "we shall be overturned."
"Disgraceful!" chimed in another. "It was only last week that the Windsor coach met with an accident through the reckless driving of some inexperienced fellow."