“You need not worry over me,” he assured her. “I will take no chances. There’s nothing romantic about war ... at least not about this one. It’s simply business. The side which is most efficient is bound to win. There won’t be any nonsense. I’ll look out for myself.”
She said to him almost with indifference, “You’re all I have left, because I don’t see much of Ellen any more. She’s too busy.”
But she was not thinking of what she said: she was thinking that war was romantic. It must be so else it would not excite men as it excited Fergus. It was the romance that was the bait in the trap ... romance and the excitement. So long as these things existed, there would be wars, for there would be men like Fergus who did not take their places efficiently but went because (she remembered one of the phrases he had used again and again in the face of her reproaches) “it was too big a show to be missed.” It was not men like Robert who made war possible; it was men like Fergus. She saw it all with a vision uncluttered by talk of economics and politics; and so in her own fashion she came far nearer to the truth than this solid, logical son of hers.
But he was sure of himself, Robert. You could fancy him ordering his men about, ably and dispassionately, leading them admirably when it was necessary, as his grandfather Barr, the Citizen, had done before him in the Civil War. He would make a good job of it. You could see that he would quietly and thoroughly win distinction, not as Fergus had done, without once thinking of it, but because he had arranged it so. You could see him being decorated with medals, as his brother had been decorated, again and again; but not for the same reason. He would not wear them as Fergus had done, with a swagger. He would cherish them, in neat leather cases, and bring them out to show his children and his grandchildren, because he could not tell them what the war was like, give them the feel of it, as Fergus could have done ... Fergus who (if he had lived) would have lost the medals or thrown them away long ago in disgust like his Grandfather Tolliver, who found the Siege of Paris more romantic than Bull Run or Gettysburg. He had, one fancied, already counted his medals. One could see that he was cut out for a good officer.
“I will see Ellen as soon as I have leave,” he murmured and thought, “And I will not be walking about the streets during an air raid as if I were at a church sociable.”
Yet he was not bitter because Fergus was the better loved; that fact he had come long since to accept. He was scornful only because it seemed to him an idiotic thing to be wandering carelessly into the midst of danger. There could be no reason for it ... none on earth.
Before he left, Hattie burdened him with a great bundle of sweaters and socks, all admirably made in the hours when she had been distracted by her terror of idleness.
“You must wear them all yourself,” she said. “You’ll need them in time. They’ll wear out and you’ll lose them. I’ll send you others from time to time. It’s all I have to do nowadays.”
And on the way past the cell occupied by The Everlasting he must have heard the squeaking of his grandfather’s chair as the old man rocked and rocked, lost again in a torrent of memories; but he did not stop.
“Say good-by for me to The Everlasting,” he said and then, after kissing her abruptly, he turned and disappeared quickly down the stairs, so that she could not see his tears. For Robert was, unlike the others, sentimental, though he had never once allowed his mother the joy of discovering it. It was a thing which he thought shameful.