“British Museum,
October 22nd, 1857 (evening).
“My dear Minzi,
How many things have happened during the past thirty-five years! It was on this very day thirty-five years ago, that you accompanied me, with Zatti and Montani, to embark for Viadana.
It was then that my travels began. What changes! What fortune! How many sleepless nights! What follies! What ardent passion! What sufferings! What risks! But no more of this.
You know that I have been at Brescello, but you cannot conceive how dear such a visit was to me. Indeed it is impossible to describe my feelings. I can only say that no town, temple, or theatre, or palace afforded me such joy as I felt when I saw Brescello; the church of Brescello! the theatre of Brescello! and the Municipal Hall of Brescello! The very house where I was born, yours, Montani’s house, and that of Francesco Panizzi. These sights almost brought tears to my eyes.
You complain of my silence.... You must know that weeks have passed without my being able to leave the house, and that I was reduced to such a state as not even to get sleep; my head felt giddy, and my heart beat so as to take away my breath; I had pains in my hands and feet, and nervousness, accompanied by continual noise in the ears. I went to Italy, and now I tell you what I achieved since we last parted.
From Keeper of the Printed Books, perhaps the most important Department in this Institution, I was appointed Director in Chief (Principal Librarian) of the Museum, about two years ago. It is a very high post, but when I came to take charge of the Museum, I found it so badly governed, such was the need of many reforms, that it required an iron resolution to replace order. I attempted it. Every one in the service great and small (about 230) soon learnt that they had to deal with one who was determined to make things go as they ought. I was already known in my Department, which was a model to all others, and every one knew the stuff I was made of. I found a collection of 220,000 printed books, and I left 530,000. I fought for years, defeated a squadron of ignorant men and enemies, who opposed a plan for a new Catalogue, which is now approaching completion, and which will be the finest Catalogue ever compiled. I made a plan for a Reading-Room to accommodate 300 readers, who are now more comfortably seated than at their own homes, and of a Library which will contain 1,400,000 volumes. The plan was approved by our best architect; the room is now finished and made use of. I am honoured by every one, and my enemies have disappeared. All this has naturally added strength and moral power to my new post. But, through hard work, I felt as if my brain would give way, and so I decided to visit Italy. There I slept very well, and the symptoms disappeared, but they returned slowly. My mode of living is moderate; I take medicine, but the pain on my left side has returned. How it will end I do not know, for work I must, and work hard too; and now that I have reached the summit of the mountain I feel as if I should like to descend, but I fear it is impossible. I am treated by every one like a Benjamin, amply paid and much honoured, and they will not listen to my retiring.
I have sent you a selfish letter, such a one as I should not have written to any one else, but only to a friend like you.
Your affectionate friend,