What the hell do we care!
Hail, hail, the gang's all here,
What the hell do we care now!”
When a man has lived night after night in a trench, he gradually finds it quite possible [pg 150] to snatch a good night's sleep. In other words, it is merely a case of becoming acclimated to rackets, smells and food. I had always been able to sleep, but on the night following the bombardment of the chateau I just could not doze off. I thrashed about continuously, and while in this restless state harbored the notion that trouble was brewing for me. Every one has had that feeling, the feeling that hangs in your bones and warns you to watch out. Well, that is how I felt.
At last the sun rose and with it came a beautiful morning, warm and sunny. I walked out amongst the ruins to see the extent of the damage caused by the shelling of the previous day. I was waiting for the stew which was cooking on a little fire near the side of the cellar. The “dixie” was resting on two old bayonets, and they in turn rested on bricks at either side. Towards noon a big shell came over and landed in the moat, covering everything around with a coat of evil-smelling, black mud. This shell was followed [pg 151] by another, arriving in the part of the ruins where once a cow-shed stood. I was talking to Hawkins, my batman, when I saw him dive across my front and fall flat on his face. At the same time I was in the center of an explosion, a great flame of light and then bricks, wood and cement flew in all directions. For a few seconds I thought I was dead, then I picked myself up and saw that blood was pouring down the front of my jacket. I followed up the stream and found that my right hand was smashed and hanging limp. My men rushed out and I told them it was nothing, but promptly fell in a heap. When I came to, my hand was wrapped up in an emergency bandage, and a stretcher was coming down from Bedford House, an advanced dressing-station, the next house back. To the delight of the men who were carrying it, I waved them away and told them I could walk. Assisted up to the dressing-station by one of my men, I made it. I then made a discovery. A soldier is a man until he's hit, then he's a case. I first had [pg 152] an injection of “anti-tetanus” in the side, and the fact was recorded on a label tied to my left-hand top pocket button. The doctor tied me up, then said: “You'll soon be all right. Will you have a bottle of English beer or a drop of whiskey?” I had the whiskey. I needed it. All the time I was there the wounded poured in. Seeing them I felt ashamed to be there with only a smashed hand. A corporal came in with both hands blown off and fifty-six other wounds. He had tried to save the men in his bay by throwing back a German bomb and it had gone off in his hands. Hawkins came up later on with my helmet and the fuse head of the shell which blew me up. We were all collected together and waited in the dugouts of the dressing station until dusk. Several shells came close to us. I tried to write to my mother with my left hand, so that when she received the War Office cable she would know I was able to write.
Dusk came, then night, and finally the Ford ambulance cars which were to take us [pg 153] out of Hell. It was a beautiful night. Belgium looked lovely. The merciful night had thrown a veil over the war scars on the land and a moon was shining. I was told to sit up in the seat with the driver. We traveled along one road, then the shelling became so bad that the drivers decided to go back and take another road which was running nearly parallel. Back over the line the planes of the Royal Flying Corps were bombing the Forest of Houltholst, and the bursting of the shrapnel from the German anti-aircraft guns pierced the velvet of the sky like stars as we went out of Belgium into France.
Several times shells burst on the road, and from the inside of the car came the stifled groans of the men as the Ford hit limbs of trees and shell-holes.
Our first stop was a ruined windmill, the walls of which were nearly six feet thick. Here the dangerous cases were taken off and attended to. The last I saw of the corporal was after they had cut off his coat at the [pg 154] seams and the doctors were taking a piece of wire out of his chest. While I was waiting a chaplain asked me if I would like a cup of coffee or some whiskey, realising that it would take some time to get the coffee made I had some more whiskey.
I was given two more tags, which this time were tied on buttons at the top of my jacket. I stayed here about two hours, then I was sent to a clearing hospital. It was here that I met the first nurses. They were two fine, splendid women who were wearing the scarlet hoods of the British Regular Army nurse. They were both strong and quite capable of handling a man, even if he became delirious. One of them quickly got me into bed. I apologized for my terribly dirty state, but I was told that it made no difference; they were used to it. To be between clean sheets again was wonderful. I felt I wanted to go to sleep forever. Suddenly a roar, and a terrible explosion. The hospital was being bombed; a bomb had dropped within a hundred yards of my tent. This was the [pg 155] German reprisal for our bombing Houltholst. They deliberately bombed a hospital. The doctor at this hospital next day looked at my hand and said in a nonchalant way, “Looks as though you will lose it.” At that time it didn't strike me as a great loss to lose a hand, even if it was my “painting hand.”