The words seemed to come against his will, for he looked sorry the minute they were spoken, and seemed to think he deserved a reproof for his ingratitude. But Mrs. Jo understood the feeling, and though sorry to see it, she could not blame the boy for confessing it. She looked at him anxiously, seeing how tall and strong he had grown, how full of energy his face was, with its eager eyes and resolute mouth; and remembering the utter freedom he had known for years before, she felt how even the gentle restraint of this home would weigh upon him at times when the old lawless spirit stirred in him. “Yes,” she said to herself, “my wild hawk needs a larger cage; and yet, if I let him go, I am afraid he will be lost. I must try and find some lure strong enough to keep him safe.”
“I know all about it,” she added, aloud. “It is not ‘the devil,’ as you call it, but the very natural desire of all young people for liberty. I used to feel just so, and once, I really did think for a minute that I would bolt.”
“Why didn’t you?” said Dan, coming to lean on the low window-ledge, with an evident desire to continue the subject.
“I knew it was foolish, and love for my mother kept me at home.”
“I haven’t got any mother,” began Dan.
“I thought you had now,” said Mrs. Jo, gently stroking the rough hair off his hot forehead.
“You are no end good to me, and I can’t ever thank you enough, but it isn’t just the same, is it?” and Dan looked up at her with a wistful, hungry look that went to her heart.
“No, dear, it is not the same, and never can be. I think an own mother would have been a great deal to you. But as that cannot be, you must try to let me fill her place. I fear I have not done all I ought, or you would not want to leave me,” she added, sorrowfully.
“Yes, you have!” cried Dan, eagerly. “I don’t want to go, and I won’t go, if I can help it; but every now and then I feel as if I must burst out somehow. I want to run straight ahead somewhere, to smash something, or pitch into somebody. Don’t know why, but I do, and that’s all about it.”