“I know what all this means: I’m beginning to like David more than is good for me. I see this clearly, and won’t dodge any longer, but put a stop to it at once. Of course I can if I choose, and now is the time to do it; for I understand myself perfectly, and if I reach a certain point it is all over with me. That point I will not reach: David’s heart is in that Letty’s grave, and he only cares for me as a friend. I promised to be one to him, and I’ll keep my word like an honest woman. It may not be easy; but all the sacrifices shall not be his, and I won’t be a fool.”
With praiseworthy resolution Christie set about the reformation without delay; not an easy task and one that taxed all her wit and wisdom to execute without betraying the motive for it. She decided that Mrs. Sterling must not be left alone on Sunday, so the young people took turns to go to church, and such dismal trips Christie had never known; for all her Sundays were bad weather, and Mr. Power seemed to hit on unusually uninteresting texts.
She talked while she sewed instead of indulging in dangerous thoughts, and Mrs. Sterling was surprised and entertained by this new loquacity. In the evening she read and studied with a diligence that amazed and rather disgusted David; since she kept all her lively chat for his mother, and pored over her books when he wanted her for other things.
“I’m trying to brighten up my wits,” she said, and went on trying to stifle her affections.
But though “the absurdity,” as she called the new revelation, was stopped externally, it continued with redoubled vigor internally. Each night she said, “this must be conquered,” yet each morning it rose fair and strong to make the light and beauty of her day, and conquer her again. She did her best and bravest, but was forced at last to own that she could not “put a stop to it,” because she had already reached the point where “it was all over with her.”
Just at this critical moment an event occurred which completed Christie’s defeat, and made her feel that her only safety lay in flight.
One evening she sat studying ferns, and heroically saying over and over, “Andiantum, Aspidium, and Asplenium, Trichomanes,” while longing to go and talk delightfully to David, who sat musing by the fire.
“I can’t go on so much longer,” she thought despairingly. “Polypodium aureum, a native of Florida,” is all very interesting in its place; but it doesn’t help me to gain self-control a bit, and I shall disgrace myself if something doesn’t happen very soon.”
Something did happen almost instantly; for as she shut the cover sharply on the poor Polypods, a knock was heard, and before David could answer it the door flew open and a girl ran in. Straight to him she went, and clinging to his arm said excitedly: “Oh, do take care of me: I’ve run away again!”
“Why, Kitty, what’s the matter now?” asked David, putting back her hood, and looking down at her with the paternal expression Christie had not seen for a long time, and missed very much.