Theo, on the contrary, who wrote at the same time, gave me a most warm and pressing invitation to make my home with her, as long as I pleased, and she begged me to think twice before placing myself wholly in the hands of Madame de Fayrolles. I shall not repeat her arguments, though they were all good and wise. Indeed, I hardly read them myself. I could not endure the idea of returning to Devonshire on any terms.
I found a luxurious apartment prepared for me in the house Monsieur de Fayrolles had taken for the season, and here I remained for some two or three weeks, coaxed and flattered to the top of my bent. Every means was used to attach me to my new friends, and separate me from old ones.
Neither my lord nor Theo said a word about Andrew, and I had not heard a word from Tre Madoc in a long time. I had asked Mr. Pepys about Andrew, and he admitted that he had heard the story of his approaching marriage from excellent authority, and believed it to be true.
From this time I became like one desperate. I put away my French Bible, so dear as having been my mother's, and the little brown English prayer-book she had carried off in our hasty flight from the Tour d'Antin. I could not make up my mind to destroy them, so I made them into a package, sealed them up, and committed them to Mercer's care, from whom I reclaimed them long afterward.
I read only the books of controversy and devotion supplied to me by Father Martien. I began to use a rosary, and to fancy that I found comfort and help in praying to the virgin. I was quite ready to have made a profession of my new faith at this time, but to my surprise and disappointment, Father Martien put me off. He said I had not had time to know my own mind or to receive proper instruction.
The truth was, I believe, he did not think it would be very safe either for my uncle or himself. There was in England a growing jealousy of Roman Catholics and their influence, a jealousy well founded enough in itself, though it culminated afterward in the follies and wickedness of the so-called Popish plot. It would be dangerous to have it known that a young lady of good family, a ward of my Lord Stanton's, had been induced to abandon the English for the Romish Church.
This refusal, however, only increased my eagerness. I really persuaded myself that I embraced all those dogmas which I had been educated to regard with horror, as monstrous and profane. My aunt, while greatly edified by my devotion, was a little alarmed at it. It was at that time no part of her plan to have me become a religious, as she called it. She took me out with her a great deal, and paid great attention to my dress and manners. Both she and my uncle were very kind and indulgent, but they contrived to keep me in a kind of honorable restraint—a restraint so gentle that I never felt it at all.
I was not permitted to visit by myself any of the young ladies of my own age whose acquaintance I had made at my Aunt Jemima's, and though my friends were made welcome and treated with great courtesy, yet somehow their visits gradually fell off, and I saw them no more.
In a few weeks we visited the Bath, as my aunt had proposed, and remained for some time seeing a good deal of company. From thence we went to Epsom, at which place the king was residing, though he kept no court and had very few about him, save the very most dissolute of his courtiers, for he had by this time thrown off all pretence to decency of conduct. It was at Epsom that Monsieur de Fayrolles received a summons to return at once to France. It seems he had some sort of command over the household guards, from which command he had been absent longer than his royal master approved.
My uncle received this notice in the morning at the hands of Father Martien, who had come down with some letters from the French ambassador. In the evening, my gentlewoman came to me with a message desiring my immediate presence in my aunt's room. I found her seated beside her husband, while Father Martien stood behind her chair. The faces of all three wore a very solemn expression, and I trembled, I hardly knew why. My aunt bade me be seated. Zelie placed a chair for me and then at a sign from her mistress withdrew.