"Among European writers, those are in the highest repute, who change the natural order of words, making that which is in itself simple and distinct, intricate and incomprehensible. The class most noted for this abominable perversion of style is that of the 'poets:' this singular removal of words is called 'poetry.' The capability to puzzle is by no means the only requisite to become a true poet; one must be able to lie most terribly. A certain old poet named Homerus, who possessed both these qualities in an eminent degree, is styled the 'master,' and is idolized with a kind of divine worship. He has had many imitators of his distortion of sentences and falsification of truth; but, it is said, none have yet reached his excellence.
"The cultivators of science purchase books in great quantities, not so much, I am told, for the sake of the contents, as for their antiqueness of style or elegance of binding.
"The learned and unlearned are distinguished from each other by different dresses and manners; but especially by different religions: the latter believe mostly in one God; the former worship many divinities, both male and female. Among the principal of these are, Apollo, Minerva, and nine muses; besides many lesser whole and half Gods. The poets particularly implore their aid and 'hail' them when they take a notion to rage.
"The learned are divided, according to their different studies into the classes of philosophers, poets, grammarians, natural philosophers, metaphysicians, &c.
"A philosopher is a scientific tradesman, who, for a certain price, sells prescriptions of self-denial, temperance and poverty; he generally preaches the pains of wealth, till he becomes rich himself, when he abandons the world for a comfortable and dignified retreat. The father of the philosophers, Seneca, is said to have collected royal wealth.
"A poet is one who makes a great stir with printed prattle, falsehood and fury. Madness is the characteristic of the true poet. All those who express themselves, with clearness, precision and simplicity are deemed unworthy of the laurel wreath.
"The grammarians are a sort of military body, who disturb the public peace. They are distinguished from all other warriors, by dress and weapons. They wear black instead of colored uniforms, and wield pens rather than swords. They fight with as much obstinacy for letters and words as do the others for liberty and father-land.
"A natural philosopher is one who searches into the bowels of the earth, studies the nature of animals, worms and insects, and, in a word, is familiar with every thing, but himself.
"A metaphysician is a sort of philosopher, partly visionary and partly sceptical, who sees what is concealed from all others. He describes the being and unfolds the nature of souls and spirits, and knows both what is, and what is not. From the acuteness of his sight, the metaphysician cannot discern what lies directly before his feet.
"I have thus briefly considered the condition of the learned republic in Europe. I could relate many other things, but I think I have given the reader a sufficient test, by which he may judge how far the Europeans have a right to hold themselves preëminent for wisdom.