Both were silent for a long time. At last the father said: "I will not entreat of you to go to rest, for I greatly fear that you will not obey me, it is fruitless also that I should seek for repose in sleep, for slumber would flee from my shaken brain; what I may learn to-morrow, I may as well hear to-day; if I can conceive, if I can comprehend that which is incomprehensible, perhaps, it would terrify me less, perhaps, I shall yield to grief and sorrow, and necessity, as to the storm, or the earthquake; but from this spectral terror, from this almost mask-like enigma, which threatens to drive me mad, deliver me at least from this by speech and narration."
"Can it be expressed, my father?" began Edmond, "will you comprehend what I myself cannot understand with my common knowledge? We should not indeed comprehend, if this hall round us were suddenly turned into Hesperian gardens, but we should enjoy the fruit, we should live and exist in the miracle, even though by that means we should forget that yet some other knowledge were wanting."
"Has that delirium also taken possession of you," cried the old man, "in its peculiar way and wrapped you in the folds of its dark vestments? now I would have sworn that you were free from that! and yet I should have done wrong, for all fanaticism is but the twinborn of the apparently most improbable and inimical."
"You speak what your mind prompts," said the son, "and I understand you perfectly, but you do not understand me."
"Well, Edmond, you may be right, only speak, relate to me, perhaps I may be able to approach nearer to your soul."
"How much I hated these Huguenots," began Edmond, "how much I abhorred their war against the king, their fanaticism and prophets, that I despised the gross deception of those people, I need not tell you, for my irritated feelings made you unhappy and it seems that I am destined to cause your misery, I may place myself now as then on whatever side I like.--"
He stopped for a short time and then returned; "with these sentiments I dressed myself in the peasant's clothes, which were so hateful to me, our friend quitted me, as you know, and I went with his son up into the mountains. Florentine jested about our expedition, I was much vexed at and ashamed of my purpose. When we advanced farther into the mountains, some figures glided before us on the solitary footpath, we followed the direction they took, and arrived with them in about half an hour at a lonely barn. They knocked; it was opened to us. I cannot describe the feeling with which I entered into this rustic assembly. It was a loathing of mind and body. Some were kneeling, others were standing praying, I approached the latter and tried to imitate them. Everything went on quietly, all eyes were bent on the ground, a few old women only muttered their psalms between their teeth. All at once a boy about eight years old fell down as if in convulsions. My repugnance was at its highest pitch, for now I saw before me the deformed spectacle, the relation of which had for many years previously excited my liveliest indignation. The child's breast heaved, he leaped up, and threw himself down again, and I thought to have distinctly perceived the voluntary exertion. All the faithful, hoping and comforted, turned upon him their eyes. Never in my life had I more self-possession, never was I so rock-firm in my conviction; my thoughts became more and more irritated, I only wished myself back again, in order to give free vent to my hatred. Suddenly the child exclaimed in a hoarse voice: 'verily I bless ye, ye shall be blessed!'--Now in the stream which flowed incessantly, came innumerable prayers and exhortations as well as passages from the holy scriptures and their explanation, all in reference to existing circumstances. I was still more astounded, when the boy cried out: 'Beware my brethren; for two traitors have made their way into the assembly, who intend you evil.' I looked up, young Vila turned pale, he was standing at the door, and slipped out, when it was opened to new comers. 'One is escaped,' groaned the child as he still lay with his eyes and senses closed, 'but the second mocker is still present, he knows not that I, the Lord, have led him hither, that he may become one of mine.' I was terrified, my inmost soul was moved and emotions rose in my heart, which I had never experienced before. They began to sing psalms, and however discordant they may have sounded, they made no unpleasant impression on me, my mind followed the glorious words? the misfortune of these desolate creatures, their contrition before the Lord, the fearful haughtiness of their adversaries, vibrated and shrieked heartrendingly in this unharmonious lamentation; it appeared to me absurd that until now harmony had been necessary to me when I wished to raise my heart in prayer. Does not the universal lament of creation strike on his ear? Do not praise and thanksgivings with tears and cries of sorrow rise equally to his throne? To this feeling were added many more, and weak, poor and unintelligible did the whole course of my past life appear to me. Do these statues, lights and temples then make any difference, said I to myself, with all this pomp of riches and splendour? will the Lord who walked bound as a slave among us, and suffered himself to be illtreated, will he not be mocked through it? Do not these wretched beings represent him anew before our eyes? can I not in each one of these persecuted ones greet himself? feed, clothe, and protect him?--Then I felt as if all the sorrow and strife, which these mountains have endured for years were piercing in countless multitudes through my own wounded breast. Another boy now fell down and cried, 'go out into the wood, Elias, Marion, and some of the faithful are approaching, they have strayed; induce them to come with psalms, for to-day, you have no persecution to fear.' Some went out from the assembly, and sang with loud voices, and soon afterwards returned with a great number of enthusiasts, among whom a tall man advanced, who was respectfully saluted by all. 'Triumph!' said the child aloud, still prostrate on the ground, 'the disbeliever is overcome, he will enter into the kingdom of the Lord.' Then I felt the blow of a great hammer suddenly against my breast. I struggled with this feeling, and conquered it. The humble divine worship of this poor pitiable congregation was continued with psalms, and calmly uttered inspired discourses. Marion spoke the word of life, which penetrated through all my faculties; in what dreadful error I had been wandering untill then! All contingencies vanished, it was granted to me to look upon the Lord, and the strength of his miracles in their simple glory, and to behold his meek and lowly form. If until then my soul had been only overshadowed by pomp, legends, false emotions and artificial elevations; as splendid hanging of silk and gold only confine the pure rays of celestial light, and give but a false brilliancy to its glory. My heart was contrite and as a wound of sorrow and emotion; my spirit was like that of a child. The Most High stood by my side, and stretched out his bleeding hand to me, which had been now again pierced by us miserable wretches. The glance from his tearful eyes went to my soul, then I was filled with wrathful melancholy and joyful sorrow, and in this emotion, I was smitten again when the assembly dispersed. What is nature? this question I had often asked myself when I rambled with enthusiasm through wooded mountains and verdant valleys magically lighted and covered with the breath of morning, embalmed by the fresh zephyrs, and filled with all the lovely presentiments which inspire us with such pleasing dreams. Oh, my father! now I understand the deep wailings in the woods and in the mountains, in the gurgling stream, the word of the Eternal himself and his almighty compassion on us unhappy, lost creatures, was murmured to me from every wave and from every bough. With a million of tongues the countless foliage reproached my negligent tardiness. My eye pierced through the past and future, my thoughts were adoration, my feelings holy devotion.
"I plunged into the thickest woods and gave a free course to my flowing tears, I now received the third summons and I no longer resisted it. In the solitude of night, my whole being was absorbed in prayer and thanksgiving, wonderously the strongest words poured forth without the slightest exertion, as tears flow without design, as wave follows wave down the stream, as the wind puts in motion the numberless foliage of the forest, thus led by a higher and invisible spirit, my speech was changed into prophecy. A new being arose within me, I no longer recognised that of yesterday. In the mirror of my inmost soul another eye, different from my own, met mine, nevertheless this was really myself. Now resting, now walking, I found myself in the twilight of morning in the district of Sauve among the recesses of the mountains. You know, my father, the lofty situation of the dreary landscape there, no tree, no shrub, scarcely a solitary blade of grass upon the barren, white chalky waste, and as far as the eye extends, trunks of trees, heaps of lime stones in all shapes, like men, animals and horses, dazzling and fatiguing the sight, spread about, and at intervals rolling stones, and a little lower down, the small, gloomy, solitary town. Here I threw myself down again and gazed upon the waste ruin around, and upon the dark blue sky above me, strange how my spirit wandered there! I cannot explain by any human language, how instantaneously my heart was impressed with every feeling of belief, with every noble thought, how creation, nature, and the strangest mystery, man with his wonderful energies and his common dependance on the elements, how vain, how contradictory and ridiculous all this appeared to me now. I could not collect myself, I was compelled incessantly to follow this train of thought and to find relief in loud laughter. Then there was no God, no spirit, nothing but puerility, madness, and deformity, in all that creeps, swims, and flies, especially in this ball that thinks, reflects, and weeps, and underneath devours and masticates. Oh, let me be silent and not again discover the maddening images that took possession of my mind, annihilation, dead, cold non-existence appeared to me alone desirable and noble. I was utterly undone, and painful was my return to life, but I at length found it with the help of the compassionate one." The father seized his son's hand, "Mark my child," said he mildly, "as soon as all these wonderous sensations shall in wild controversy have traversed your soul, you will assuredly be yourself again and return to us entirely. Your lacerated heart will resume its tranquility and repose after these commotions, and then will your understanding and free will abandon your fearful purpose."
"Never! my father," exclaimed the youth with sudden vehemence, "this was my temptation in the wilderness, which the All Merciful shortened to a few hours, and then opened his paternal arms to me again. It might have lasted for weeks and months, had he not been willing to shew compassion to my weakness. You believe me not, you doubt, but what will you say if I give you the most undeniable proofs, that this my enlightening is no false, or artificial one, if you will even be compelled to own to me, that I not only know myself by this, but also all that is unconnected with me."
"What do you mean by that?" demanded the old man bewildered, "I do not understand you, my son."