Edmond talked of his father, but notwithstanding his deep emotion, he felt it was impossible to discover to him at that moment, that he was his son. After a time during which the old man recovered from his agitation, he continued more calmly: "That which most contributed to convert the paternal dwelling of my young friend into an enchanted garden for me, was the society of the young and beautiful women, who assembled there. Ha himself was affianced to a lovely girl, and he ardently anticipated his union with her. His Lucy's sentiments corresponded exactly with his own, and all that drew them nearer to each other was more or less imbibed into their existence and grew with the inspired hymn. The elder Beauvais only smiled at the high-strained feeling of the young people, for though he was himself pious, he rather feared that overreaching, and this religious ecstasy appeared to him as such. I now visited the temple in high spirits with my enthusiastic friend. The solemnity of God's service, the stillness, the enchanting singing, the dread-inspiring presentiment which hovered over every mystery that here tried to present itself visibly to the necessitous, languishing senses, transported my heart. Already accustomed to look upon every thing as a riddle, as a concealed mystery of love, the celebration of the Mass appeared to me as elevated and divine, as revelation and work of art, as type and fulfilment at the same time, and each word spoken, or sung as it fell on my ear in the full force of its signification, drove back a bolt from my heart. Art and nature changed before my eyes, the element of water became glorified, in the fire, in the light of the church tapers as well as that of the house, I perceived and recognised the whole tenor of the secret of nature. The nights became too short to enable us to impart to each other all that arose in our minds. A young abbé, a mild, miracle-believing enthusiast was often the third in our consultations in the open air or within doors, and his learning, his knowledge in old legends and histories of the church gave to all our spiritual movements body and presence, yes, my friend, this rosy period of my youth was like the wedding festival of my soul, and griefs not to be named were already preparing in the midst of this enjoyment, in order to teach me how weak, how frail man is and remains."
"And this abbé," exclaimed Edmond, who had scarcely heard the last words, "was he not named Aubigny?"
"Exactly so," replied the pastor with much astonishment, "it seems indeed that you know all the companions of my youth."
"Through the Counsellor of Parliament," answered Edmond, "who also likes to recall to his memory the season of his youth. But I pray you to continue your narrative. I fear that that Lacoste did not wish to be the fourth in your alliance."
"The unfortunate man," said the priest, "who had already become so confidential with us, withdrew from us day by day, although he still continued to visit frequently the paternal dwelling. Notwithstanding that we had agreed to deal mildly with him, his derision of us excited our anger, and his coldness refused all our conciliatory endeavours. It was not predestined, that our days should flow along in peaceful, undisturbed cheerfulness.
"Among the young girls that visited my friend's house, the next in loveliness to his bride, was one Euphemie the most delicate and beautiful apparition that my eyes had ever beheld. She dazzled less than Lucy, but she was still more refined more etherial. Her mind was also already abstracted from this world, her wishes were directed to the cloister, the life of a nun seemed to her most desirable. Fortunately this inclination coincided with the views of her parents, who as it so often happens, wished the whole of the fortune to devolve on the son, so that he might be able to occupy a more important station in the world. In order to complete my reformation, the knowledge of love was only wanting to my deeply affected mind. Euphemie and I drew near to each other, we became as quickly familiarised as if our being had for many years been only waiting for this acquaintance. We were as brother and sister, before we had yet been able to wonder at the rapidity of this mutual confidence. We soon felt that we could not do without each other, she could tell me all her thoughts and feelings more easily and confidingly than she could impart them to her parents, even more than she ventured to do to her female friends. My heart floated in the sweetest repose; at the sound of her voice, at the glance of her mild eye, when I heard her footstep, when she walked in the garden, nay even when I only thought of her, my mind was as if plunged in bliss. Even thus the spirits of the pure soar glorified towards their sacred destiny, estranged from all passion and inquietude, from all violent incitements. And yet I knew not that I loved: I had never permitted this word to enter into my mind.
"We conversed on her future cloistered life, on the saints and their miracles, and Euphemie had in me the most believing pupil. She lent an equally attentive ear to my enthusiasm and days and weeks passed away in a pleasing dream. That Italy, whither indeed I was journeying, was in the world, I had totally forgotten.
"Beauvais took possession of a country house, that lay in the most beautiful part of the country. I followed the family and my adored Euphemie also accompanied her friends, for the mother, as well as the son's future bride respected the wonderful girl. What singular conversations and outpourings of the heart! the earth and all that surrounded us, to which we must indeed have applied names, vanished from us, and our spirits as if in the innocence of Paradise lulled themselves, void of every want, but penetrated with the most innate, the most holy love. We understood each other without words, and as all that was earthly had fled, no feelings of jealousy, suspicion, or distrust arose in our souls.
"The legends, many of which express a heavenly spirit of resignation to the mysterious will of the Most High, a renunciation, nay almost an annihilation of self in fervent love of Christ, a profound mortal compassion in the endearing adoration, our inebriated enthusiasm was awakened and nourished especially by those feelings. Many of these tales are repulsive and contrary to every sentiment, these we discussed with subtle and ingenious commentaries in order to garnish them with a milder spirit. But the most beautiful that this species of tradition has preserved to us, is that, which, however, at the same time is the most misconceived by the unawakened soul of and which is found absurd and repulsive by the worldly minded. The life and history of the old hermits, there may be also much of later invention, to the mind which is once moved by spiritual things, they present a touching miracle. What shall I say of the meditations of St. Francis, of his ardent love and of the visions which arose and were present to this man in the perfect humility, the compassion, and fervour of his unfettered heart? He only who has once known the splendour of the world, the insolent strength appertaining to it, can rightly comprehend this temper of mind. We also often read the Gospel, and then a trembling, such as has been frequently observed in many enthusiasts, came over my whole body, especially when in solitude, for timidity and shame restrained me in society from exposing my deep emotions to observation. In this frame of mind, I left Euphemie one morning, some chapters of the Holy Scriptures had just been read. I threw myself down in the most retired spot in the garden, in order to give a free course to my tears. The whole world awakened feelings of pity within me, I experienced such an overflow of love in my oppressed heart, that it almost burst, in the excess of its own enjoyment; I read over again the passages in Luke, how Christ met the poor widow and the dead body of her son, and compassionately aroused the youth from death. There are no words that can describe the state of my mind. The elder Beauvais with a suite of servants was just returning from the chase. He might well be astonished at finding me in this condition, but he passed me with a mute salutation. I arose, and now as with a tremendous power it took possession of me. Verily, said I to myself, as thee no man has ever yet loved; it is the spirit of God, of the Father himself that stirs within thee to gladden to love, to sympathise with all; in these, these exalted moments I felt impressed with the eternal truth, that I myself, I was the son, the God from God,---and what should prevent me from moving these trees, these stones with the word of life, that they might change into other forms, and attest my might, shall I beckon to the angels that hover round me, visibly to appear to do my service?--Yes! let it be attempted, ventured--Then trembling and fear came over me, I was stunned and in despair; in contrite humility I cast myself down before my Creator, I felt myself undone, now that I perceived my devilish arrogance which had risen out of pure humility and love; I had experienced the most fearful apostacy from God, just at the moment when with all my faculties I felt myself nearer to him.
"This moment in which my spirit became dizzy on the verge of insanity and frenzy, has since then ever seemed to me the most terrible one in my life. I now understood myself and human nature, and also the danger of enthusiastic raptures of love. I had then indeed myself trodden the bridge over which all enthusiasts have passed, the narrow path (ever shining brightly, though hell lies beneath it) between virtue and vice, between wisdom and presumption, which leads from love and kindliness to hatred and murder, and I had now learned what an unholy spirit had moved the Anabaptists, and Adamites, and perhaps now glows and rages in many a heart among the rebels. Oh! my son, man is a most frail and pitiable being, the more is lent to him, the more has he to answer for, the brighter the spirit of love glows within him, the darker burns his reprobation; his gifts granted to him from heaven, may become his dire enemies, there is no one either that stands so fast, but that he may also fall. My legends had already taught me that, but I was doomed to feel it first in this fatal downfall."