(To Wegeler.)
196. “I am not bad; hot blood is my wickedness, my crime is youthfulness. I am not bad, really not bad; even though wild surges often accuse my heart, it still is good. To do good wherever we can, to love liberty above all things, and never to deny truth though it be at the throne itself.—Think occasionally of the friend who honors you.”
(Written in the autograph album of a Herr Bocke.)
197. “It is a singular sensation to see and hear one’s self praised, and then to be conscious of one’s own imperfections as I am. I always regard such occasions as admonitions to get nearer the unattainable goal set for us by art and nature, hard as it may be.”
(To Mdlle. de Girardi, who had sung his praises in a poem.)
198. “It is my sincere desire that whatever shall be said of me hereafter shall adhere strictly to the truth in every respect regardless of who may be hurt thereby, me not excepted.”
(Reported by Schindler, who also relates that when Beethoven handed him
documents to be used in the biography a week before his death, he said
to him and Breuning: “But in all things severely the truth; for that I
hold you to a strict accountability.”)
199. “Now you can help me to find a wife. If you find a beautiful woman in F. who, mayhap, endows my music with a sigh,—but she must be no Elise Burger—make a provisional engagement. But she must be beautiful, for I can love only the beautiful; otherwise I might love myself.”
(In 1809, to Baron von Gleichenstein. As for the personal reference it
seems likely that Beethoven referred to Elise Burger, second wife of
the poet G. August Burger, with whom he had got acquainted after she had
been divorced and become an elocutionist.)
200. “Am I not a true friend? Why do you conceal your necessities from me? No friend of mine must suffer so long as I have anything.”