“I am a young lady of fourteen, and a young man I know is very fond of me. My mother tells me that I am too young to think of such things, and insists that I shall go to school for two years longer. Now, as she was married at fourteen, I do not think she ought to stop me from marrying for I feel very sure that I should be perfectly happy with Charley. Please tell me what you would advise.
“Lizzie C.”
In the first place, Lizzie, we would suggest that you speak of yourself as a young girl, not as a “young lady.” No girl can be a “lady” who ignores her mother’s sensible advice. You certainly should go to school for several years longer. You are entirely too young to think of marrying. Your mother was probably a far wiser girl at your age than you are. Try to develop your character and learn as much as you can. When you are twenty years of age you will make a far better choice of a husband than you can possibly do now.
“I am spending the fall months in the Pennsylvania mountains. There are a lot of young men at the hotel here, and we have straw rides two or three times a week. Now, we girls always try to have a jolly time, and we do let the boys kiss and hug us when we are off on a ride. Last night a lady stopping at the same house as myself saw us and she read me a terrible lecture on what she called ‘my loose conduct.’ Do you think there is any real harm in a little innocent fun like that? She threatened to write to my parents and have me sent home.
“Jessie C. M.”
It is true that young girls have been kissed and hugged since the world began, and it is doubtful if this form of amusement does the amount of harm that is popularly supposed, especially when the intent is innocent. The stolen kiss is far more dangerous to morality than that bestowed openly in the presence of one’s companions. No doubt the lady you speak of meant her lecture for your good, but we trust that her language was not merited. You should learn to be judicious and avoid the appearance of evil. One thing is certain—the young lady who holds herself aloof from undue familiarity, and maintains a reasonable amount of maidenly reserve, stands a better chance of winning the permanent affections of some good man than does the one who is too free with her favors.
“One of the nicest fellows in the world has been paying attention to me for over a year, he has never said outright that he loves me, but I know he does from the way he acts. A short time ago I met another fellow that I liked pretty well, and went out with him once or twice. Now the first one has threatened to shoot himself if I go out with the other any more. I don’t want him to do anything rash, and yet I do enjoy an occasional evening out with my new acquaintance. How can I adjust my conduct so as to suit my old beau for whom I really care a great deal?