“Pauline B.”
We quite agree with your mother’s judgment. Some of the bravest men we know are the most thoughtful of trifles, and any little thing that a man can do to lighten the burdens of others is manly. We would not care to see a man wiping dishes or making beds for a living, but his ability to do these things does not detract from his manliness. Women help their husbands with their accounts, and in many of the so-called masculine vocations without losing an iota of their womanly charm. There is no reason why a husband should be less a man because he occasionally assists his wife in her household duties.
“Do you think it wrong for a wife to try to earn money? My husband’s salary just barely supports us, and I have hard work to get any clothes, even with the greatest possible economy. I could earn several dollars a week teaching music, but my husband objects, and claims that if I work it will be a reflection upon him and that he will consider that I have deliberately insulted him. He does the best he can, and gives me all he earns, but it is not enough for our needs. I will not deceive him about it, but would I be wronging him if I insisted upon earning my own pin money?
“Dorothy J.”
We see no harm in a woman earning money if she desires. Your husband seems possessed of a peculiar kind of pride. If he is not able to support you properly he should place no obstacle in the way of your supporting yourself. Explain your motives to him freely and no doubt he will soon come to your way of thinking.
“Won’t you advise me in a matter that is perplexing me? I had a quarrel with my sweetheart a week ago, and declared that I would never see him nor write to him again. Since we broke I have been most unhappy, and I am now firmly convinced that I love him and am anxious to have him back. He is as proud as can be, and I know he will never come unless I send for him. Do you think that I would lose his respect if I wrote him to come back or ought I to stick it out in spite of the fact that I love him. I have gotten all over my anger, but I do hate to break my word.
“Lulu H.”
A victory over one’s self is better than “sticking out” a foolish quarrel. It is far more womanly to forgive than not to if there is no real cause for anger, and to say “I was mistaken” is simply to say, “I am wiser to-day than yesterday.” Your lover will probably value your sweetness of disposition more if you make the first advances towards reconciliation. A foolish resolution cannot be too quickly broken, but Grace Shirley’s best advice is to try and avoid quarrels hereafter by both of you giving in a little at the start.