Street & Smith.
“My dear Miss Shirley, will you please answer this question? I would not dream of asking it if it was not such a serious matter. Is there any subject relating to matrimony and married life that is too indelicate for my fiance and myself to discuss before marriage? There are one or two things that I wish to settle, and my mother says I would be unmaidenly to even whisper them. Please give me your candid opinion on the subject.
“Lena W.”
Absolute confidence between engaged people and a perfect understanding of each other’s wishes and temperaments is the surest possible foundation for a successful marriage. The ignorance which is taken to the altar does not affect two people alone, but is perpetuated frequently for many generations, and is always accompanied with misunderstanding and misery. It is a mother’s part to look into such questions as have embarrassed my correspondent. Some mothers are sadly negligent in their duty towards their children. A little plain speech would have saved much suffering. All subjects are holy that have to do with the solemn obligations of matrimony.
“I have been engaged for three years and expect to be married next spring. Now that I am almost face to face with this change in my life that I have anticipated with so much pleasure, I am ashamed to confess that I almost dread it. I love my betrothed dearly, but I am so afraid that I shall not be happy when my whole existence is wrapped up in him and his affairs. All the time that we have been engaged I have seen other friends, and we have both gone out a great deal. When I become a married woman I am afraid that I shall find the monotony unbearable. Do you think that I am very wicked to feel so, and had I better postpone my marriage for a time?
“Alice D. K.”
Your diffidence is not an unusual feeling, nor one of which to be ashamed. No woman of delicate sensibilities can face so radical a change in her whole existence without nervousness.
Those who take such a matter calmly are thicker skinned than their sisters. There is no reason why the “monotony” should be unbearable. You and your husband can still enjoy the pleasures of society, but enjoy them together, and there is nothing more pleasant in life than the chat together after the ball or party or theatre. When you have both devoted yourselves to entertaining others for an evening you will be glad indeed to have your husband get your wrapper and slippers for you and to cuddle up on a cozy armchair and talk the evening’s events over with him before you sleep.