Because a man is “six feet tall” and looks “lovely on horseback,” you must not take it for granted that he will make a good husband. It would be far better for you to endeavor to find out about his character and ability to support you before you fall so completely into the toils. We have seen many short acquaintances turn out satisfactorily, but we do not think it wise to enter into so important an alliance rashly unless each has previously been aware of the good character of the other. Try to curb your impressionable heart, Lida, until you are sure the young man is worthy of you.
“I have been engaged to be married for nearly three years, but am beginning to despair of the marriage ever being consummated. The young man to whom I am engaged is a very closemouthed person, and I cannot find out what business he is engaged in, but every time I hint at matrimony he pleads poverty as an excuse for deferring the ceremony. I have seen him with fifty dollars in his pocket several times. Is not this enough to pay for a wedding?
“Sarah B.”
We judge by your letter that the young man is not very deeply in love with you, and the fact that he does not tell you his business looks very suspicious. If a man has not sufficient confidence in you to tell you by what vocation he earns his living we should advise you to let him go and turn your attention to some one who is more open and candid. Fifty dollars will pay the minister, buy the ring, and furnish a supper, but it will not go far after the festivities are over. If that is the most he can call his own at any one time he is hardly in a position to take upon himself the responsibilities of a husband.
“Will you kindly do me the favor to answer the following questions? Does a naturally domineering man grow more gentle after marriage, and would you advise a young girl to marry a person with this disposition?
“Addie S.”
Domineering men are sometimes made gentle by love, but, as a rule, matrimony only aggravates such a nature. A man who will dictate to a woman before marriage is quite likely to prove a tyrant after. We know of no habit that is much harder to cure than this, and would consider matrimony a very heroic measure. It would be much better for you to treat the disease with dignity and firmness before marriage and note the results. When you are once married it will be too late to experiment.