“I have been brought up to think that it was a sin to drink liquor, and now I am deeply in love with a young man who often drinks a glass of wine; who, to the best of my knowledge, has never been tipsy. Would I be doing right to marry this man? I do not know how I can give him up, and yet I hate to go against my principle.
“Edna.”
Your anxiety is very natural, but we hardly think you would be doing wrong to marry a man who takes a glass of wine occasionally. History is filled with the names of great men who were not total abstainers. If liquor disagrees with a man, or he is prone to yield to its insidious fascination, that is another matter, but the mere fact of a man taking an occasional drink is not a sign that he is destined to fill a drunkard’s grave. Total abstinence is commendable, and in the case of men weak in will power it is almost a necessity, but many a man who is a moderate drinker will prove a better husband than the total abstainer, whose other virtues are not as fully developed as his abstinence.
Study the character of the man whom you think perhaps to marry. If he is honorable, brave and true, you can safely trust your life’s happiness in his hands, despite his occasional glass of wine.
“I am so sick at heart that I can hardly write this letter, but I must know your opinion, my dear Miss Shirley. I have been deeply in love for over a year, and now I am forced to believe that the object of my affections has forsaken me for another. Oh, what can I do to win him back! I shall certainly die if I have to live another week without him!
“Imogen S.”
There is anguish in every word of this letter, and we are very sorry indeed for you, Imogen. There is no grief so poignant as that which a young girl feels when she awakes to the fact which you seem to have discovered. But bear in mind, my dear, that there are scores of lovely and lovable men on earth, and perhaps your cloud will yet have a silver lining. Some day you will meet a man whose love will be all your own, and you will be able to see that this first disappointment was all for the best. We would not advise you to try and get him back. If he does not come back of himself his love is not worth having.
“Will you please tell me if you think fifteen is too young to love? I am just that age, and I have just met a young man who is very attractive, and I know he is in love with me and wants me to marry him. People tell me that at my age I don’t know my own mind. I should hate to marry him thinking that I love him and then find myself mistaken.