We laid them all side by side in the kirkyard, and it seemed to me that when the grave closed over our Mary the joy had all gone out of my life. The friends that were left to me might pass as quickly. I felt that I had but a slender hold upon them, and I turned away with a sad feeling of desolation which I had never before experienced.
Alexander regarded the infant as a very slender thread binding him to home, for it was evident it would soon leave the world it had entered at so inauspicious a time. When in a few days it ceased to breathe, the broken-hearted father said, "It is well with the child. Now no ties bind me. I am free to devote myself to the Lord's cause. Henceforth let me be found foremost in the ranks of those who shall do and dare for the afflicted of my church and of my country."
From this time Alexander Ramsay had no fixed abiding-place; but it was his willing service to carry consolation to the oppressed and despairing all over the country. He became the bold and fearless leader of conventicles, and the bearer of food and comforts to those who were proclaimed outlaws, and who were suffering the keenest privations and hardships for conscience' sake; for the king's agents had forbidden any, under severe penalties, to give food or shelter or succor of any kind to the hunted Covenanters. These very acts of mercy rendered him an outlaw also, and a price was soon set on his head.
Father was confined in a miserable place only a few miles away, yet none of us were permitted to see him. Mother grieved in silence; but her grief seemed wearing her life away. I prayed that she might even weep; but that she could not do. Yet when brought to speak, which scarcely anything but my tears could accomplish, she would express her confidence that the right would prevail. "The kirk will yet have rest," she said. "The Word of the Lord will have free course, will run, and be glorified. But alas for my earthly peace! I shall never with my natural eyes behold the prosperity of Zion."
My brother Steenie chafed like a chained lion. He sought to devise a way to liberate our father, and made several unsuccessful attempts, the only result of which was a closer confinement for the prisoner. This Steenie so resented that he became the sworn foe of the oppressor. He became a marked character, and our enemies cast designing looks upon him. It was no longer safe for him to stay with us when any of the troopers were near.
My other brothers were seeking to evade the persecutors by appearing to be neutral. They were seldom present at conventicles, and sometimes attended the curate's service in the parish church. Jamie and Richie were unlike Steenie. In the first place, they had stronger ties. Their wives, their children, and their homes were very dear to them. They thought, by a seeming indifference, to escape the troubles that were constantly befalling their more demonstrative neighbors. But their caution did not please us. Even mother, troubled as she was, did not approve their course. Once when they were both sitting at our fireside, she stepped between them, and laying a hand on the shoulder of each she thus addressed them:
"O my sons, do not imperil your eternal happiness to secure safety in this life. Remember the words of the Master: 'Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.'" Having said this, she quickly left the room.
I arose and followed her. I found her seated on a low chair, her hands pressed closely to her heart. "O God! I have done it," she said as I entered. "I have counselled them. I have triumphed over the weakness of the flesh. Thanks be to thy grace, O Lord, now the weight of this unfulfilled duty is lifted from my heart and conscience!"