In a country where the price of labor is so high, it is no uncommon thing to see domestics dressed as well as their employers. But though silk gowns and laces have taken the place of coarse calicoes, the situation of domestics is by no means improved. They are less contented in their situation, and less conscientious in the discharge of their duties, than they were in more patriarchal times. Many attribute this difficulty to our democratic institutions; but I believe it originates in a want of republican principle, not in the excess of it. If people would consider their domestics as sisters of the great human family, differing from them only in having, for the time being, a different use to perform in society—if they would have a tender regard to their health, a reasonable regard to their convenience, a friendly interest in their characters and plans—in a word, if they would perpetually acknowledge a reciprocity of duties—we should soon cease to hear complaints of the indifference and carelessness of domestics. While they are regarded as pieces of machinery, to whom nothing is due but the payment of wages, they cannot be expected to feel a deep interest for those who manifest so little interest in them.
American ladies are accused of being more prudish than foreigners. I hope the charge will always remain a true one; but there may be an excess even of a good thing; and when a sense of decorum led them to be squeamish about seeing Greenough’s beautiful little cherubs, because the marble innocents had no drapery about them, I acknowledge it reminded me of Sir Charles Grandison’s remark: “Wottest thou not, my dear, how much indelicacy there is in thy delicacy?”
The tendency of modern times has continually been toward external refinement. The language used by queen Elizabeth and the queen of Navarre would not now be tolerated in any part of the civilized world; yet the marriage of a divorced wife aroused more virtuous indignation in the court of Elizabeth, than a dozen such incidents would now occasion, in any European court. Many phrases and subjects of conversation which appear perfectly proper to an English or French woman, are not so considered by an American. Some of our customs are, however, offensive to the modesty of foreigners; such as the treatment, condition, and sometimes the dress of female slaves. The practice of being assisted by gentlemen, in rising from the rolling surf at Rockaway, after indulging in the refreshment of bathing, has likewise been regarded as singular. It is allowed on account of the overpowering might of the waters, and scrupulous attention to propriety is observed in all the arrangements of the bath.
The laws of England prevail in the United States, with slight modifications. Marriages are not generally performed in the church, because the dissenting sects are more numerous than Catholics or Episcopalians. The ceremony is legal when performed by a magistrate, but a clergyman is universally preferred. Fathers give portions to daughters, according to their wealth, and it is a rare thing for a bride to be entirely destitute. It is customary for women to purchase their furniture, which is generally arranged in the house by some of the bride’s female friends. Divorces are very uncommon. Infants are never wrapped in the swaddling bands, ligatures, and biggins, still used in many European countries. Of late years, even that pretty ornament, the cap, is generally dispensed with, in conformity with the advice of physicians, except at baptism and on other ceremonious occasions. As yet, it is an uncommon circumstance, even among the rich, for a mother not to nurse her own children.
Great freedom is allowed to young people; particularly during courtship. In old times, the North Holland custom prevailed in interior parts of the country, to considerable extent. It is a universal practice for lovers to remain with the objects of their choice several hours after other members of the family have retired to rest. Aristocratic people do indeed consider this custom ungenteel, and urge upon their daughters the scrupulous etiquette of more corrupt countries. “The spirit of the age” is unfavorable to the old-fashioned doctrine of “falling in love;” even literature, which formerly represented this passion as the moving-spring of all human action, now generally ridicules its power. This influence has extended in a considerable degree to America; and mothers are not wanting who will consent to sell their daughters to the highest bidder, though the bargain is accompanied with formalities, supposed to render it much more respectable than the sale of Circassian girls in the Turkish markets. But while the country is so prosperous, and there are such facilities for gaining a living, matches of interest will continue to be exceptions to the general rule. Stolen marriages can be solemnized, without the consent of friends, at Providence, Rhode Island, as at Gretna Green, in Great Britain; but there is seldom any serious opposition from parents to render such a step excusable.
There are very few convents in the United States. The nearest approach to them among Protestants are the establishments of Shakers, where the brethren and sisters live in different dwellings, and enter the meeting-house by different doors. These people are proverbial for neatness and industry; but their unnatural mode of life induces something of automaton regularity, which is painful to a free spirit.
The games and amusements of America are similar to those of Protestant Europe. Where all are peculiarly amenable to public opinion, eccentricities in character or dress are very rare, and some complain that this produces a monotonous surface of society. Lady Dare-all, the pride of fox-hunters and horse-racers, would require even more boldness to act in opposition to public opinion here, than was necessary for the same process in England.
The custom of giving presents on the first of January is generally observed; and Catholics and Episcopalians commemorate Christmas with religious services and social festivity. In New England, the last Thursday of November is set apart as a day of thanksgiving, in conformity to the custom of their forefathers. All the members of a family, far and near, generally meet under the parental roof on this occasion. An abundant supply of roasted turkeys, puddings, and pies are provided, and the day is spent in festivity. The poor are bountifully supplied by their neighbors. In remote parts of the country, it is still considered a delightful frolic for farmers’ families to meet together in the barn, to husk corn. If a girl finds a red ear of corn, she is entitled to receive a kiss; and if a young man finds one, he gains a right to take the same privilege. The party partake of a plentiful supper, and there is no lack of merriment, or good cheer.
Female societies for benevolent purposes are very numerous in the United States. A large portion of their funds are gained by the sale of ingenious articles of their own manufacture.
The United States have produced several female writers, some of whom have talents of the highest order. Foreign critics would probably unite with Americans in conferring the title of pre-eminence on Miss Sedgwick; and never, in any age or country, have the laurels rested on a woman of purer principles, or more expansive benevolence.