When Mr. Marsden, the missionary, talked with some of the New Zealand chiefs concerning the disadvantages of polygamy, they frankly admitted that they should have a more quiet life with one wife, for their women always quarrelled. The younger wives, particularly if they are handsome, often suffer a great deal from the tyranny of the older ones; and if their rank be inferior, their situation is sometimes most lamentable. All the women, who heard the subject discussed, agreed that it would be far better for each man to have but one wife.
Finow, one of the most powerful of the Tonga chiefs, had a sister, who was a very beautiful and lively girl. She talked much about England, and had a desire to go there to amass a great quantity of beads; but she said she supposed the papalangi men would not marry a girl with such a brown skin, and it would be a sad pity to leave so many handsome young chiefs in the Tonga islands, for the sake of living unmarried in England. She added, laughing, “I think the white men must be uncommonly kind, good-natured husbands, or else white women must have very little spirit; for if it were not so, they could not live so long together without parting. It is a very good custom to have but one wife, provided the husband loves her; but if he does not, he will only tyrannize over her the more; and then she has not so good a chance to deceive him, as where his attention is divided between five or six.”
Notwithstanding the universal practice of polygamy, there are instances of very strong domestic attachment in the South Sea islands. It is said that the infidelity of a husband or wife has often driven the other party to suicide.
Throughout the South Sea islands a woman may carry on as many amours as she chooses, without incurring any blame, until she is married, and thus becomes an article of property; yet notwithstanding this unpropitious course of education, instances of misconduct after marriage are said to be by no means frequent.
The king’s wives are always guarded by attendants, who keep a strict watch upon their proceedings, and whose lives are responsible for a breach of trust.
Where the parties are of high rank, an unfaithful wife and her paramour are sometimes both strangled and thrown into the sea; but usually the woman receives a sound beating, and no farther notice is taken of the offence. In the Marquesas, if a husband have just cause of complaint, he can transfer his wife, even against her will, to any man who will take her.
In some of the islands, men form what is called “the bond of friendship” with each other. By this bond, individuals are bound to protect and assist each other under all circumstances; and one friend is expected to resign his wife to the other, whenever he visits his house.
It is a common practice for women of rank to be the adopted mother of some individual for whom their husbands entertain great regard. One of the wives of Finow performed this office for Mr. Mariner during his residence in the Tonga islands, and he owed much of his convenience and comfort to her motherly care.
The women of the Ladrone or Marian islands are of a dark yellow complexion. Their teeth are spoiled by the constant use of betel. They dress modestly, and wear the hair tied very low, almost in the neck. If a man marries a woman whose fortune is superior to his, he performs the menial offices of household labor; he cannot dispose of the smallest article without her permission; and should his temper or habits prove disagreeable, she can leave him, carrying with her all the children and property. If he detects her in misconduct, he may kill the gallant, but has no right to use her ill. Should he, on the contrary, be found guilty of the same fault, his wife collects all the women of the neighborhood, who destroy his garden, his grain, and his dwelling, and beat him like so many furies, if they can find him.
Where the husband and wife possess an equal degree of property, labor and authority is more equally divided. It is not probable that these things are regulated by laws; but where women are upheld by powerful connections, their husbands are compelled to yield to the right of the strongest. According to an ancient law, if the father or brother of a young woman saved a superior from any imminent danger, the latter was required to prove his gratitude by marrying the girl without any dowry. This law was repealed, but by the force of custom it is still generally observed. Disputes between the men are decided by the women; but female disputes are settled by themselves. When champions try their skill in single combat, women adjudge the victory, and present the reward, which usually consists of fruit or linen. Mourning is worn in the Ladrone islands two months for a man, and six months for a woman.