A bridegroom knows nothing of the character or person of his intended wife, except what he gathers from the report of some female relative, or confidant, who undertakes to arrange the marriage, and determine the sum that shall be paid for the bride. Very severe laws are made to prevent deception and fraud in these transactions. On the day appointed for the wedding, the damsel is placed in a close palanquin, the key of which is sent to the bridegroom, by the hands of some trusty domestic. Her relations and friends, accompanied by squalling music, escort her to his house; at the gate of which he stands in full dress, ready to receive her. He eagerly opens the palanquin and examines his bargain. If he is pleased, she enters his dwelling, and the marriage is celebrated with feasting and rejoicing; the men and women being all the time in separate apartments. If the bridegroom is dissatisfied, he shuts the palanquin, and sends the woman back to her relations; but when this happens, he must pay another sum of money equal to the price he first gave for her. A woman who unites beauty with accomplishments brings from four to seven hundred louis d’ors; some sell for less than one hundred. The apartments of the women are separated from those of the men by a wall, at which a guard is stationed. The wife is never allowed to eat with her husband; she cannot quit her apartments without permission; and he does not enter hers without first asking leave. Brothers are entirely separated from their sisters at the age of nine or ten years.
Divorces are allowed in cases of criminality, mutual dislike, jealousy, incompatibility of temper, or too much loquacity on the part of the wife.
The Chinese character is grave, ceremonious, and taciturn. It is said that women are in the habit of answering concisely, and seldom speak unless spoken to; nevertheless the Chinese proverb declares, “What women have lost in their feet they have gained in their tongues.” If female loquacity be a ground for divorce, it may render the marriage contract very precarious, even in China. A husband can neither put away his wife, nor sell her, until a divorce is legally obtained. If she leaves him, he may immediately commence an action at law, by the sentence of which she becomes his slave, and he is at liberty to sell her to whom he pleases. If he leaves her for three years, she may, by permission of the mandarins, marry again; but if she were to anticipate their consent, she would be liable to very severe punishment.
A husband has always a right to sell an unfaithful wife for a slave. Women do not inherit property, but it may be left to them by will.
Next to submission, industry is inculcated as the greatest of female virtues. The following are extracts from a Chinese ballad: “Employment is the guardian of female innocence; do not allow women time to be idle; let them be the first dressed, and the last undressed, all the year round.”
“No in-door household work is repugnant to a modest and sensible woman. The shuttle and the needle are only the occupation of her leisure; the neatness of her house is the work of her cares; and it is her glory either to nurse the sick, or prepare a repast.”
“The pearls and precious stones, the silk and gold with which a coquette so studiously bedecks herself, are a transparent varnish which makes all her defects the more apparent.”
It seems difficult to imagine such a thing as coquetry, where there are no opportunities for display. However, the Chinese must be more stupid than women in general, if they are beautiful and cannot contrive some means to let the world know it. Travellers say they have sometimes seen pretty Chinese girls sitting smoking pipes at the doors, but that they always ran away at their approach. Perhaps when they see a young man of their own nation and rank, they take time to knock the ashes from their pipes before they run.
Most of the houses in cities have terrace roofs, on which flowers and shrubs are planted; and these form a favorite promenade for the ladies. The Chinese being a sedentary people, their florists, fruit dealers, &c. are obliged to walk about the streets crying their goods; mantuamakers, carrying a basket with the implements of their trade, march round in search of customers, which are not very numerous in a land where the fashions never change; fortune-tellers, mountebanks, and jugglers, squeaking on a wretched flute, likewise go from house to house, and are beckoned to call where their services are required.
The wealthy make great rejoicings at the birth of a child, particularly if it be a son. They boil great quantities of eggs hard, prepare rice after a peculiar fashion, and send these, with dainties of various kinds, to their relatives and friends. On the third day the child is washed, and new feasts are given. Hundreds of eggs, called third-day eggs, are roasted and painted all manner of colors. Relations and friends in their turn present the same kind of eggs, with all sorts of pastry and sweetmeats.