"Dr. Bowles, take back those words; no man living shall use them to me! I am neither liar nor coward, and repeat, I was never near the river."
A dead silence followed, in which, through the fearful conflict in his mind, conscience was already speaking. Ah! Ronald, it said, is this having the meek and lowly spirit of a follower of Him who, when he was reviled, reviled not again? True, you are falsely accused; but it was certainly not your part to speak in that way to your master, whatever he said to you.
The silence was broken by Dr. Bowles. "The evidence I have of your guilt, sir, is an undeniable one; but at present I cannot enter either on that subject or on the punishment awaiting you. Retire to your own room, till you have at least gained the mastery over your temper, so that I can speak further to you."
And without a word, but with a bursting heart, the boy went to his room, bolted the door, and cried passionately.
What did it all mean? he asked himself. Why did suspicion rest on him? And, above all, what was the evidence which Dr. Bowles had received, and which he said was conclusive of his guilt? Guilty in this matter he was not; but when the first burst of anger passed, very plainly did he see how he had sinned: he had been guilty of disrespect to Dr. Bowles, and had sinned against God by his outburst of passion. Ah! Was this the way in which he was to hold up the banner of the Lord?
What, he asked himself, were some of the marks which the true soldiers of Christ bore, by which all men could distinguish them as easily as they could the Crusaders by their garb and outward mark? He knew them well; only the day before had he been talking to little Dudley about them—"love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness." All! How he had failed; no wonder, he said, that he needed the cross which was laid on him by the unjust suspicion, when God knew all the evil that was in him.
Then, throwing himself on his knees, he told all to the One who by his Spirit hath said:
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us."
Then he rose quieted, having sought that the Lord would stand by him and give him strength to endure false accusation calmly, and yet clear him from it in his own way and time. One duty lay plainly before him—he must ask Dr. Bowles's forgiveness for the manner in which he had spoken to him.