"9. Laces of all descriptions making for an appearance of frivolity should not be used in dress.
"10. All other necessaries of dress should not cost more than $25 a year."
EIGHT COIN-BOX ROBBERS CAUGHT
In the arrest last night of five men and three women as they were wrapping piles of five-cent pieces into one-dollar rolls in an elaborately furnished apartment near Audubon Avenue and 172d Street, the police have found the thieves who have been concerned in all the telephone slot-box robberies during the past three years and have robbed the New York Telephone Company of thousands of dollars.
The men and women under arrest have used a powerful automobile in going about the city, robbing the slot boxes with skeleton keys and files. The men arrested gave the following names and ages:—Tom Morrison, 21; Nic Marino, 26; Adam Neeley, 25; William O. Cohen, 30; and Charles Guise, 25. The women were Della Thomas, 25; Dorothy Price, 25; and Dollie Lewis, 25.
For more than two years the New York Telephone Company has endeavored unsuccessfully to trap these thieves in their robberies of the pay stations. Buzzers were affixed so that an attempt to open them would sound a warning, but, despite that, the thefts continued. Acting Captain Jones, of the Third Branch, and Acting Captain Cooper, of the Fourth Branch Detective Bureaus, who directed the arrests, declare that the women did the telephoning and opened the coin boxes, and that one of the men, coming to the booth from the telephone as if to call, reached in a hand or a small bag and took the coins.
BREEZE AND RAIN PRODUCER DISCOVERED
Prof. Marblenut, Dopetown's imminent (correct) scientist, has arranged to furnish this city with a perpetual cool breeze and two showers a week, all next summer. The breeze is to be made by a gigantic electric fan operated by current generated in a plant on the banks of Little Muddy, at Pigankle Falls. This monster fan will be made of steel. The showers will be made by an apparatus built on the same principle as a Chinese laundryman's face when he takes a mouthful of water and sprays the wash. The water will come from the river and will be filtered, then sprayed over the city from the face of a colossal Chinese figure standing on the left bank of the river above the power house. Prof. Marblenut is the same man who attempted suicide with a bakery doughnut when his wife left him last year. A friend took the deadly thing from him and saved his life.
BOB LA FOLLETTE STILL INCONSISTENT
Senator Robert M. La Follette faced an audience of about 300 men in the armory on Tuesday night. He arrived rather late as if to so sharpen the appetite of curiosity that his unsavory oratorical courses might be bolted without inspection and denunciation of the chef. The Senator was conducted to the stage and introduced by Assemblyman Ballard. His arrival was greeted with only an inkling of applause from one corner of the gallery occupied by a few college students. Near the stage rested Peter Tubbs and Senator Culbertson, sphinx-like in the desert of progressivism meditating on the grandeur of past political glory abused and lost. To the men an occasional political riddle was proposed by the speaker for solution.