[52] Chicago Tribune, July 15, 1915.
D. Indicate and correct the faults in the following stories (paragraphs [131–134]):
1. While Mrs. Stanley Barnes was making fruit salad at the Baptist parsonage Thursday she lost her wedding ring in it. Clark Webster was sick Friday morning, and for a time it was thought that he had eaten it in the salad, but a calmness was restored in these parts when it was learned that she had failed to put it on when leaving home in the morning.
2. Hereafter it shall be written by way of simile: "As fair as a Hinsdale blonde." Rainwater is the answer. Rainwater! Rainwater, such as used to seep off the kitchen roof into the eave trough and into the barrel at the corner.
But the Hinsdale water barrel, that has just been completed and now is in operation, is no mere castoff sauerkraut hogshead. It cost $30,000, and it gives forth rainwater at a rate of a million gallons a day. And the dingiest brunette will soon blossom out in the full glory of the spun-gold blonde. The chemist person who installed the $30,000 rain barrel says so, and he claims to know.
It was cited to the women of Hinsdale that the women of the British Isles are fair, very fair, indeed. What makes them so fair? The fog. And what is fog? It is rainwater in the vapor. Hence rainwater will make women fair. Let us, therefore, have rainwater.
The water in Hinsdale heretofore has been hard. It crinkled the hair and put the complexion on the bum. It cost more money for cosmetics to set these complexions right than a couple of $30,000 rain barrels. But now the seediest lady in the land has only to make a pilgrimage to Hinsdale and return ready to make faces at the inventor of peroxide.
3. Last week Tuesday night the henhouse of Mr. Rosenblot, on the Standard farm, was broken open and 14 hens taken. Also at the same time five bags of grain and two bags of cattle salt were stolen. Thursday night his chicken coops were visited and about 40 little chicks taken. Mr. Rosenblot expects his wife and her mother from Russia next week.
4. The feature of the evening was the dance. Miss Semple's grace and ease in executing the many intricate steps of the Argentine tango, hesitation waltz, and other modern dances elicited great applause from the onlookers. Miss Sheppard of the District Nurses' Association gave a lecture on first aid to the injured.
5. "Lemme see something nifty in shirts—something with a classy green stripe," said Dan McKee of Soho Street, as he cruised into the men's furnishing store of Emil de Santis, in Webster Avenue. The lone clerk evidently did not notice all the specifications of McKee's order, and listlessly drew out at random the first box of shirts his hand touched. Picking the top shirt out, he laid it before McKee.