Austin found his days filled with active service. He had little time for reverie; but at night when all was quiet, he lay and mused and planned. He was now almost sixteen. He marveled at his undertaking the care of the children as he did when he was but thirteen. The responsibility looked greater to him now than then. He had thought only of their physical comfort then, now he began to consider their spiritual training also. Would he be able to lead them to Christ? What ought he to do first? He looked back over the months since his mother’s death and saw that God had led him all the way, and he reached out to his heavenly Father now for guidance and grace.
He remembered his promise to Brother Bennet, and even at their first meal had bidden the children to stop while he asked God’s blessing on the food. The children had looked at him curiously. It had been a little difficult to bow and thank God at the first meal after his father was with them. Henry Hill was not a reverent man, and while he had not openly opposed his son in this pious act, he had gone ahead as if no blessing were being asked. And always since he had ignored completely the fact that Austin said grace at meals. The children waited without prompting for him to finish his prayer. To establish the family altar had been even more difficult, yet he had found time to read and pray with the children. They lent themselves to his ways, for they were glad to have him with them again. But the new order of things in the house proved in time to be very vexing to Henry Hill. Every word and act of his godly son was a stab in his conscience, and as he had no thought of turning to God, he hated accordingly the one who caused his uneasiness. Wilbur laughed at Austin for his queer ways, as he called them, and scoffed and mocked, yet down in his heart respected him. He would not have had his brother different.
CHAPTER 15. — THE BATTLE OF TWO WILLS
There were many changes to be made in the Hill household before it could be running smoothly. The children’s wardrobe was low, their father being a careless buyer and the girls being inexperienced in making and mending garments. Austin had anticipated this state of affairs when he had so carefully saved his own wages till he should come home. It was not long till his little hoard was gone. He had also had to buy a number of things for the house to make it comfortable and at all homelike.
Henry Hill had a most comfortable feeling to know that there was some one at home who was responsible for the children, so he took many opportunities to be away. In fact he felt better away with some of his friends than when at home with Austin. It is not a pleasant thing for any father to feel that the serious eyes of his own son rest upon him in disapproval and reproof. Every sight of the boy made him feel uncomfortable and as if he did not come up to what was expected of him. Austin was not a fellow to speak out his reproofs, but he thought them and his eyes told what his heart was saying. Every week found him and his parent farther and farther apart—if possible.
Austin expected no sympathy and asked for none from either his brother or father in the way he was taking. He perhaps went to the opposite extreme and was so indifferent to what they thought that it had the effect of antagonizing them. It is at least a fact that there was no feeling of sympathy nor cooperation between them, and that antagonism grew until it was almost open warfare between him and his father. He felt such a repugnance toward his father and a hatred of the way he was taking that it continually showed out in his attitude toward him. In later years Austin could understand, but now he was doing only what he believed necessary to protect his own soul from the discouraging influence.
Partly because he always liked to shirk responsibility, and partly because he and Austin had so few thoughts and feelings in common, the father stayed away from home more all the time. To this Austin was not averse, for it gave him more time with the children.
While Austin had been gone so long, his father had been in the habit of inviting in men like himself, and they had often played cards and drank till far into the night. Frequently the wee small hours of morning had found them still busy with their cards and bottles. When Austin came home, he could hardly endure to have a thing like this happen with the little children in the house. He had no right to forbid his father, but he did let him know how he felt about it. The result had been that the father felt most uncomfortable to have his associates gather at his home any longer.