‘I could not but give a favourable Ear to the Inclinations I had towards him; every thing he told me seem’d to me to have its particular Gracefulness: And it was no hard matter for him to perswade me, that he lov’d me above all things in the World.
‘In the mean time, the Marquess de Los Rios took such a liking to me, and my Person and Behaviour ran so deeply in his Thoughts, that he wholly applied himself to please me. He was very nice and cautious; he could not resolve with himself to owe me wholly to my Parents authority: He well knew they would receive as an Honour the Intentions he had for me; but he was for gaining my Consent before he demanded theirs.
‘In this Design he said all to me he thought was like to take with me. I answer’d him I should always think it an indispensable Duty to obey my Father: yet our Ages were so different, that I told him, I thought ’twere better he left off thinking of me; that I should have an everlasting Acknowledgment for the advantageous Intentions he had for me; and therefore I would esteem him, tho I could not love him. Having heard what I said, he was some time without speaking, and immediately taking up a very generous Resolution: “Lovely Mariana,” says he, “you might have made me the happiest Man in the World; and if you were ambitious, I had wherewith to satisfie you: But you refuse me, and I desire to be anothers: I consent to it; I love you too well to be in suspence, whether you are to be satisfied or I; I therefore wholly sacrifice my Happiness to you, and leave you for ever.” In ending these Words he left me, and appear’d so afflicted, that I could not forbear being concern’d.
‘Mendez arriv’d a while after, and found me melancholly: He was so earnest with me to know the Cause, that I could not deny him this Proof of my Complaisance. Any one but he would have had a sensible Obligation at the Exclusion I came from giving his Rival: But far from seeming to value it, he told me, He saw in mine Eyes the Regret I had for a Lover, who could place me in another sort of a Rank than he was able; and that my Proceeding was very Cruel. In vain [I] endeavoured to make him sensible of the Injustice of this; but all I could say, could not hinder him from charging me with Inconstancy. I remain’d vext, and surpriz’d at this his Way of Dealing, and was several days without speaking to him.
‘He, in fine, at last understood he had no Reason to Complain; he came to me, and begg’d my Pardon, and testified to me a great Displeasure at his own jealousie: He excused himself, as all Lovers do, on the strength of his Passion. I had so much Weakness as to be willing to forget the Trouble he had given me: we made up the Matter between us, and he continued on his Courtship.
‘His Father having understood the Passion he had for me, thought he could not procure him a more advantageous Marriage: he took notice of it to him, and came afterwards to my Father, to open to him the Proposal: they had been long Friends; he was favourably heard, and they easily agreed on the Matter.
‘Mendez came to inform me of the News, with such Transports as would have seem’d ridiculous to any other than a Mistress. My Mother order’d me to look kindly on him, telling me, this Affair would be advantageous to me: and as soon as the India-Fleet should arrive, wherein he was greatly concern’d, the Marriage should be concluded.
‘Whilst matters thus past, the Marquess de Los Rios had retired to one of his Country-Houses, where he scarcely saw any one: He led a languishing Life; he still lov’d me, but hindred himself from telling me so, and from comforting himself by this innocent Remedy.
‘In fine, his Body could not resist the Heaviness of his Mind; he fell dangerously ill, and being told by the Physicians, there was no hope of his Recovery, he pluckt up his Spirits to write me the most affectionate Letter imaginable, and sent at the same time to me a Deed of Gift of all his Estate, in case he dyed. My Mother was in my Chamber, when a Gentleman presented this Packet from him; she would know what it contain’d.
‘I could not forbear at the same time, telling her what had past; and we were both of us in the greatest surprize at the Marquess’s extream Generosity. She sent him word, that I should go with my Family to thank him for a Liberality which I had no ways deserv’d: And in particular, she sharply reprehended me for having made a Mystery of a thing to her with which I ought to have immediately acquainted her. I threw myself at her Feet; I excused myself the best I could, and testifi’d such great Sorrow for having displeas’d her, that she easily pardon’d me. Leaving my Chamber, she went to my Father, and having learnt him all which had past, they resolv’d to go the next Morning to see the Marquess, and to carry me with them.