Dear mother, I pity poor Edward, but I admire Charles; and I do not know which to praise most, his filial love, or his sedateness and patience; in the bitterness of his grief he scarcely ever leaves his sick parent, he gives him his medicines, stifles his sighs, and hides his tears, and almost seems afraid to breathe when his father closes his eyes; but I have seen him fold his hands together, and, lifting up his eyes to heaven, pray with ardour. I will not send this letter off till to-morrow, when I will write again.
WILLIAM, in continuation.
How much I was affected yesterday afternoon. I went, after I had done writing, to Sir Charles’s chamber, I opened the door softly, but instead of Charles, saw Lady Grandison and Emilia, both kneeling at the bed-side; I stole away unperceived to seek for Charles, I could not find him in any of the chambers, no one knew where he was. Oh! said I to myself, where is my dear Charles? I ran into the garden, and there I found him in the summer-house; he was kneeling down, his hands and eyes were lifted up to heaven, and big tears rolled down his cheeks; I heard him pray with earnestness, but could only distinguish a few words.
Preserve, oh! my God, my dear, my affectionate father—grant him longer life, Thou knowest best, Thou art infinitely merciful, oh! pardon me, I wish to die to save him, to save my mother from the anguish she must endure if deprived of him.
He seemed in an agony, and at length arose with more apparent firmness; I could no longer be silent, I caught his hand, God will preserve your father, I exclaimed; I hope so, answered he, but let us walk round the garden, that my mother may not see that I have been crying, it would add to her sorrows. We walked backwards and forwards, when Charles resumed the discourse; You heard me pray then?
WILLIAM.
No, I only heard a few incoherent words, and that you wished to die, to save your father.
CHARLES.
Of how much more consequence is his life than mine? I scarcely know how I should live without him. My wish was a selfish one, for perfect happiness is not to be found on earth; I have heard him often say, the happiest have their troubles, and the best their failings, which disturb their earthly peace.
WILLIAM.