I listened to his words attentively, missing nothing. It seemed to me that they were children of deep thought. I spoke to him as before a confessor, except that I hesitated in mentioning God. I was afraid, and I regretted something. God's image had become tarnished in my soul at this time, and I wanted to polish it from the dust of the days, and I saw that I cleaned up to the hollow places and my heart shuddered with pain.
The old man nodded his head and encouraged me.
"Never mind; don't be afraid. If you keep silent you only lie to yourself, not to me. Speak. Regret nothing. For if you destroy, you will create something new."
He responded to my words like an echo and I became more and more at ease with him.
[CHAPTER XIX]
Night overtook us.
"Stop," he said, "let us find a place to rest."
We found a shelter underneath a large rock which had been torn away from its mother mountain, and the brush grew upon it, weaving itself into a dark carpet underneath. We lay down in its warm shadow and built a fire and boiled tea. I asked him: "Father, what were you telling me?"
He smiled. "I will tell you everything I know. Only don't seek for assertions in my words. I don't want to teach, but only to relate. Only those people assert who are afraid of the paths of life, for whom the growth of truth is dangerous. They see that truth burns ever more brightly since men have lit its flames more and more in their hearts, they see it and are afraid. They quickly take a little truth, as much as is advantageous to them, and press it together into a small roll and cry to the whole world: 'Here is truth; pure spiritual food, and for all ages unchangeable,' and they sit, the cursed ones, upon the face of truth and strangle it, clutching at its throat, and hinder the growth of its strength in every possible way—they are enemies to us and to all beings. I can say one thing: that is the way it is to-day; but how it will be to-morrow I don't know. For you see, to-day there is no true, lawful master in life. He has not come yet. I do not know how he will arrange things when he comes; what plans he will establish and what suppress, and what temples he will cause to be built. The apostle Paul once said, 'All is for the best,' and many have accepted these words. But they who have confirmed them are without strength, for they have remained in one place. The stone is without strength. Why? Because of its immobility, brother. It is not right to say to man, 'stand here,' but always, 'go farther and farther.'"