I did not like such questions. "I don't know," I answered.
He remained doubtful for a minute and then he said:
"God led Lot out of Sodom and saved Noah; but thousands perished by fire and water. Still it says, 'Thou shalt not kill.' Often it seems to me that these thousands perished because among them there were a few pious and virtuous people. God saw that despite the stringent laws which He gave, there were several who could lead a righteous life. If there had been no pious men in Sodom, God would have seen that it was impossible to observe His commandments and He might have lightened them without putting to death thousands of people. They call Him the All-merciful One. But where is His mercy?"
I did not understand then that this man was only seeking license to sin. Nevertheless, the words angered me.
"You are blaspheming," I said. "You are afraid of God, but you don't love Him."
He drew his hands out of his pockets, threw them behind his back, and his face turned gray. It was plain that he was in great wrath.
"Whether it is so or not, I don't know," he answered, "but it seems to me that you pious ones use God as a ruler by which you mark off the sins of others. Without such as you, God would have a hard time measuring sins."
He took no notice of me for a long time after that. But an insufferable hatred rose in my soul against this man. I avoided him even more than I did Savelko. If at night I mentioned his name in my prayers, an ungovernable anger possessed me. It was at this time that I said my first spontaneous prayer:
"I do not wish to seek grace for a thief, O Lord. I ask that he be punished. May he not rob the poor without being punished."
And I prayed to God so ardently that Titoff be punished that I grew frightened at the terrible fate that awaited him.