"Why do they call this a place for the salvation of the soul when everything here is based upon money; when we live here for money, just as in the world outside? I fled to save myself from the sin of business, and again I fell upon business here. Where shall I flee now?"
His whole body trembled, and he told me quickly the history of his life. He was the son of a merchant who owned a bakery, had graduated from a school of commerce, and was placed by his father in his business.
"Were it some little nonsense," he said, "then, perhaps, I could deal in it. But with bread it was unpleasant and shameful to me. Bread is indispensable to all. One should not own it to make it the means of trade for human need. Perhaps my father would have broken me had his avarice not broken him. I had a sister, an academy student, gay and proud, who read books and was friendly with all the students. Suddenly my father said to her:
"Stop your studying, Elizabeth. I have found a husband for you."
'I don't want him,' she answered.
"But my father pulled her hair until my little sister gave in. The bridegroom was the-son of a rich tea merchant—a cross-eyed, large man, vulgar and continually boasting of his wealth. Liza, next to him, looked like a mouse next to a dog. He disgusted her. But my father said:
"'You fool, he has shops in many cities on the Volga.'
"Well, they were married, and during the wedding supper she went to her room and shot herself in the breast. I found her still living, and she said to me:
"'Good-by, Grisha. I want to live very much, but it is impossible! It is terrible! I can't! I can't!'" I remember that he talked very, very fast, as if he were running away from the past, while I listened and looked at the stove. Its brow was before me and it looked like some ancient and blind face whose black mouth licked with flames ate up the whistling and hissing wood. I saw Grisha's sister in the fire and thought bitterly:
"Why do people violate and destroy one another?"