"Oh, my good fellow, the police often come under my hospitable roof!"
"And, good Lord! don't you remember how you cheeked the police officer?"
"Well, that will do with recollections; just say simply what you want."
"Let me stand you something. When I lived with you, you were so"—
"Gratitude should be always encouraged, my friend, for we seldom meet with it. You must be a really good fellow, though I can't remember you; but I'll accompany you to the vodka shop with pleasure, and drink to your success in life."
"Ah! you're always the same—always joking."
"Well, what else can one do when one lives among a miserable set like you?"
Then they would go off, and often the former lodger would return staggering to the doss-house. Next day the entertainment would begin anew; and one fine morning the lodger would come to his senses, to find that he had drunk away all that he possessed.
"See, your honour! Once more I am one of your crew; what am I to do now?"
"Well, it's a position you can't boast about, but being in it, it's no use crying," argued the captain. "You must look at your position with equanimity, my friend, and not spoil life with philosophising and reasoning. Philosophy is always useless, and to philosophise before the drink is out of one is inexpressibly foolish. When you are getting over a bout of drinking you want vodka, and not remorse and grinding of teeth. You must take care of your teeth, otherwise there will be none to knock out. Here are twenty kopecks; go and bring some vodka and a piece of hot tripe or lights, a pound of bread, and two cucumbers. When we get over our drink then we'll think over the state of affairs."