Thessalonica, Aug. 5, B.C. 58
I changed my mind about the proposed journey to Epirus when I saw my hope growing less and less and finally vanishing, and have not moved from Thessalonica, where I proposed to stay till you should send me some news of what you mentioned on Pompey’s authority in your last letter, that my case might come before the House after the elections. And so, now the elections are over and I get no news from you, I shall take that as equivalent to your writing and saying that nothing has come of it, nor shall I regret that the hope which buoyed me up has not lasted long. As for the movement that appeared to be in my favour, which you said you foresaw, new arrivals here assure me that it won’t come off. The only hope left is in the tribunes elect: and if I wait till that is settled, you will have no right to regard me as a traitor to my own cause and to my friends’ wishes.
Quod me saepe accusas, cur hunc meum casum tam graviter feram, debes ignoscere, cum ita me adflictum videas, ut neminem umquam nec videris nec audieris. Nam, quod scribis te audire me etiam mentis errore ex dolore adfici, mihi vero mens integra est. Atque utinam tam in periculo fuisset! cum ego iis, quibus meam salutem carissimam esse arbitrabar, inimicissimis crudelissimisque usus sum; qui, ut me paulum inclinari timore viderunt, sic impulerunt, ut omni suo scelere et perfidia abuterentur ad exitium meum. Nunc, quoniam est Cyzicum nobis eundum, quo rarius ad me litterae perferentur, hoc velim diligentius omnia, quae putaris me scire opus esse, perscribas. Quintum fratrem meum fac diligas; quem ego miser si incolumem relinquo, non me totum perisse arbitrabor.
Data Nonis Sextilibus.
XIV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Scr. Thessalonicae XII K. Sext. a. 696
Ex tuis litteris plenus sum exspectatione de Pompeio, quidnam de nobis velit aut ostendat. Comitia enim credo esse habita; quibus absolutis scribis illi placuisse agi de nobis. Si tibi stultus esse videor, qui sperem, facio tuo iussu, et scio te me iis epistulis potius et meas spes solitum esse remorari. Nunc velim mihi plane perscribas, quid videas. Scio nos nostris multis peccatis in hanc aerumnam incidisse. Ea si qui casus aliqua ex parte correxerit, minus moleste feremus nos vixisse et adhuc vivere.
Instead of blaming me so often for taking my troubles so seriously, you ought to pardon me, as you see that my afflictions surpass all that you have ever seen or heard of. You say you have heard that my mind is becoming unhinged with grief: my mind is sound enough. Would that it had been as sound in the hour of danger, when I found those my cruelest enemies who I thought had my salvation most at heart. As soon as they saw I had lost my balance a little through fear, they used all their malice and treachery to thrust me to my doom. Now that I have to go to Cyzicus, where your letters will reach me less frequently, please be all the more careful to give me a thorough account of everything you think I ought to know. Be a good friend to my brother Quintus, for, if I leave him unharmed by my fall, I shall not regard myself as utterly overwhelmed.
August 5.