But I await a letter from you. There is no room now, as before, for your "await the event." The limit we fixed was that interview; and I have no doubt I annoyed Caesar; so I must act the more quickly. Please send me a letter and deal with la haute politique. I await a letter from you now very anxiously.
XIX
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Arpinum, March 31, B.C. 49
Since Rome was out of bounds, I celebrated my son's coming of age at Arpinum in preference to any other place, and so doing delighted my fellow-townsmen. Though they were pleased, yet I must tell you they and all others I have met are sad and sorry.
tam atrox est ἀναθεώρησις huius ingentis mali. Dilectus habentur, in hiberna deducuntur. Ea, quae, etiam cum a bonis viris, cum iusto in bello, cum modeste fiunt, tamen ipsa per se molesta sunt, quam censes acerba nunc esse, cum a perditis in civili nefario bello petulantissime fiant! Cave autem putes quemquam hominem in Italia turpem esse, qui hinc absit. Vidi ipse Formiis universos neque mehercule umquam homines putavi, et noram omnes, sed numquam uno loco videram.
Pergamus igitur, quo placet, et nostra omnia relinquamus, proficiscamur ad eum, cui gratior noster adventus erit, quam si una fuissemus. Tum enim eramus in maxima spe, nunc ego quidem in nulla; nec praeter me quisquam Italia cessit, nisi qui hunc inimicum sibi putaret. Nec mehercule hoc facio rei publicae causa, quam funditus deletam puto, sed ne quis me putet ingratum in eum, qui me levavit iis incommodis, quibus idem adfecerat, et simul quod ea, quae fiunt, aut quae certe futura sunt, videre non possum. Etiam equidem senatus consulta facta quaedam iam puto, utinam in Volcaci sententiam! Sed quid refert? est enim una sententia omnium. Sed erit immitissimus Servius, qui filium misit ad effligendum Cn. Pompeium aut certe capiendum cum Pontio Titiniano. Etsi hic quidem timoris causa, ille vero?
So dark and direful is the coup d'oeil of this vast calamity. Levies are being made; troops are being drafted into winter quarters. These measures are hardships in themselves even when taken by loyalists, when the war is just, when there is some consideration. You can imagine how bitter they are when taken quite tyrannically by desperadoes in wicked civil war. But you must remember that every scoundrel in Italy is of the party. I saw them all together at Formiae. I could hardly believe them to be human. I knew every one of them, but I had never seen the whole collection together.