utrum consistere uspiam velit an mare transire, nescitur. Si manet, vereor, ne exercitam firmum habere non possit; sin discedit, quo aut qua, aut quid nobis agendum sit, nescio. Nam istum quidem, cuius φαλαρισμὸν times, omnia taeterrime facturum puto. Nec eum rerum prolatio nec senatus magistratuumque discessus nec aerarium clausum tardabit. Sed haec, ut scribis, cito sciemus.
Interim velim mihi ignoscas quod ad te scribo tam multa totiens. Acquiesco enim, et tuas volo elicere litteras, maximeque consilium, quid agam aut quo me pacto geram. Demittamne me penitus in causam? Non deterreor periculo, sed dirumpor dolore, Tamne nullo consilio aut tam contra meum consilium gesta esse omnia! An cuncter et tergiverser, et eis me dem, qui tenent, qui potiuntur? Αἰδέομαι Τρῶας nec solum civis, sed etiam amici officio revocor; etsi frangor saepe misericordia puerorum. Ut igitur ita perturbato, etsi te eadem sollicitant, scribe aliquid, et maxime, si Pompeius Italia cedit, quid nobis agendum putes. M'. quidem Lepidus (nam fuimus una) eum finem statuit, L. Torquatus eundem. Me cum multa tum etiam lictores impediunt. Nihil vidi umquam, quod minus explicari posset. Itaque a te nihildum certi exquiro, sed quid videatur. Denique ipsam ἀπορίαν tuam cupio cognoscere. Labienum ab illo discessisse prope modum constat. Si ita factum esset, ut ille Romam veniens magistratus et senatum
will make a stand anywhere or cross the sea. If he remains in Italy, I fear it is impossible for him to have a reliable army. If he leaves Italy, where he will go or stay, and what we are to do I don't know. For I imagine that Caesar, whom you fear may be a Phalaris, will stick at no abominations. He will not be deterred by adjournment of public business, the departure of members and magistrates and the closure of the treasury. But, as you say, we shall know soon.
Meanwhile forgive me for writing so much and so often; it soothes me, and I wish to extract letters from you, and especially advice as to where to go and what to do. Shall I give myself up heart and soul to the good cause? I am not terrified by the danger, but tortured by the anguish. To think that everything has been done with such a lack of plan, or so contrary to my plan! Or shall I hesitate and play the turncoat, and join the party that holds the field? "I fear the Trojans," and I am held back not only by my duty as a citizen, but by my duty as a friend; though I am often shaken by pity for the boys. So write a line to me in my distress, although you have the same worries; and especially as to what you think I should do, if Pompey leaves Italy. I have met M'. Lepidus and he draws the line there; so does L. Torquatus. There are many obstacles before me, including my lictors. I have never seen such an intricate tangle. So I do not look to you for positive advice: but only for your opinion. In fact I want to know how the dilemma presents itself to you. It is practically certain that Labienus has left Caesar. If it could have been arranged that he could meet magistrates and Senate on his arrival at
Romae offenderet, magno usui causae nostrae fuisset. Damnasse enim sceleris hominem amicum rei publicae causa videretur, quod nunc quoque videtur, sed minus prodest. Non enim habet, cui prosit, eumque arbitror paenitere, nisi forte id ipsum est falsum, discessisse illum. Nos quidem pro certo habebamus.
Et velim, quamquam, ut scribis, domesticis te finibus tenes, formam mihi urbis exponas, ecquod Pompei desiderium, ecquae Caesaris invidia appareat, etiam quid censeas de Terentia et Tullia, Romae eas esse an mecum an aliquo tuto loco. Haec et si quid aliud ad me scribas velim vel potius scriptites.