XIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Puteoli, April 26, B.C. 44
The letter you sent on the 19th did not reach me for seven days. In it you ask whether I take more pleasure in hills and a view or a walk by the silver sea, and you seem to think I may not know myself. Upon my word, both are so beautiful, as you say, that I doubt which to prefer. "But no thought have we of the service of a dainty meal; nay, seeing a woeful heavy bane sent on us by heaven, we shudder in doubt whether we shall be saved or perish." For although you have sent me great and welcome news about D. Brutus having joined his troops, in which I see great hopes, still, if there is going to be civil war—and that there must be, if Sextus stays under arms, as I know for certain he will—I don't know what we are to do. For now there will be no chance of sitting on the fence, as there was in Caesar's war. For, if this gang of ruffians thinks anyone was rejoiced at the death of Caesar—and we all of us showed our joy quite openly—they will count him an enemy; and that looks like a considerable massacre. Our alternative is to take refuge in Sextus' camp, or join ourselves to Brutus if we can. That is a hateful business and unsuitable for our age,
244aliena nostris aetatibus et incerto exitu belli, et nescio quo pacto tibi ego possum, mihi tu dicere.
Iliad v. 428
"Τέκνον ἐμόν, οὔ τοι δέδοται πολεμήια ἔργα,
ἀλλὰ σύγ' ἱμερόεντα μετέρχεο ἔργα λόγοιο."
Sed haec fors viderit, ea quae talibus in rebus plus quam ratio potest. Nos autem id videamus, quod in nobis ipsis esse debet, ut, quicquid acciderit, fortiter et sapienter feramus, et accidisse hominibus meminerimus, nosque cum multum litterae tum non minimum Idus quoque Martiae consolentur. Suscipe nunc meam deliberationem, qua sollicitor. Ita multa veniunt in mentem in utramque partem. Proficiscor, ut constitueram, legatus in Graeciam: caedis inpendentis periculum non nihil vitare videor, sed casurus in aliquam vituperationem, quod rei publicae defuerim tam gravi tempore. Sin autem mansero, fore me quidem video in discrimine, sed accidere posse suspicor, ut prodesse possim rei publicae. Iam illa consilia privata sunt, quod sentio valde esse utile ad confirmationem Ciceronis me illuc venire; nec alia causa profectionis mihi ulla fuit tum, cum consilium cepi legari a Caesare. Tota igitur hac de re, ut soles, si quid ad me pertinere putas, cogitabis.
Redeo nunc ad epistulam tuam. Scribis enim esse rumores me, ad lacum quod habeo, venditurum, minusculam vero villam Quinto traditurum vel impenso pretio, quo introducatur, ut tibi Quintus filius dixerit, dotata Aquilia. Ego vero de venditione nihil cogito,
especially considering the uncertainty of war; and somehow or other it seems to me that I can say to you and you to me: "My son, to thee are not given the arts of war; nay, do thou rather compass the witching arts of speech."[[207]] But that we must leave to chance, which is of more importance in such matters than reason. For ourselves, let us look to the one thing that ought to be in our power, that, whatever may happen, we may bear it with courage and philosophy, remembering that we are but mortal, and console ourselves a good deal with literature and not least with the Ides of March. Now come to my aid in settling a point which is causing me anxiety. So much to be said on both sides occurs to me. If I set off, as I intended, on a free embassy to Greece, it seems as though I might avoid to some extent the danger of a massacre which is threatening, but I shall not escape some blame for deserting the state in such a crisis. On the other hand, if I stay, I see I shall be in danger, but I suspect there is a possibility that I may help the State. There are also private considerations, that I think it would be of great use in settling my son down if I went to Athens; and that was the only reason for my going, when I had the idea of getting the offer of an embassy from Caesar. So consider every side of the case, as you usually do in my affairs.